Chapter Two

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At another part of the town, deep in the forest, some shady things were happening behind the scenes. These two utter buffoons were in the old abandoned mines. Cannon and Melon were searching for diamonds. Cannon peered into the practically empty cart when he noticed something. A dull, gray rock had been placed inside the cart. He stared at it dully and looked over at Melon, who wasn't paying attention.

He frowned and picked it up, turning back to his colleague. "Okay, what idiot put this in here?"

"Oh," Melon smiled. "That would be me!"

Cannon rolled his eyes and felt like he could hit his 'friend' with the rock right there and then. "Let's review, shall we? We are stealing gold! Is this shiny?"

"No."

"Valuable?"

"No."

"Going to make the bossman happy?"

"I don't think so."

"Focus Melon," he rolled his eyes, gripping the rock with anger. "That's what you need. That, and a brain."

He threw the rock behind him and shook his head. The rock ended up bouncing to a corner of the mine; cracking open from the pressure. Inside, were quartz of amethyst.

Suddenly, their boss, Fitzgerald, showed up. He looked at the two bickering idiots and cleared his throat loudly; announcing his presence. Cannon quickly turned around and flashed a nervous smile. "Master Fitzgerald, you're back. . . here. . . early. Hope you had a nice journey!"

His dog, Bob, suddenly barked at the guys. Melon screamed and clutched onto Cannon, shaking in fear. Cannon groaned and walked a few steps away, muttering to himself, "Idiot."

"Here you are sir," he said, handing his boss a gold chunk. "The last of the gold from the Royal Mine. There's nothing left."

"Yeah," Melon snickered. "Cause it's all yours sir!"

Fitzgerald grabbed the gold chunk and smirked triumphantly. "Yes, it is, very much mine. Finally!"

He decided now was a perfect time to start singing a song about his master plan.

I've been bowing

I've been scraping

I've been lying like a rug

And for ten long years I've had to pay my dues

But today I am escaping

For the last gold has been dug

It was waiting there, so how could I refuse?

I'm returning home a hero

Who's discovered mighty wealth

And what better husband could a prince choose?

I'm the suitor who will suit him

Bring the kingdom back to health

And I'll wear the crown for how can I refuse?

Raise every glass

And rouse every cheer

Praise that the reign of Fitzgerald is here

Master in charge of all that I see

All hail me

And by marrying the prince I get all that I desire

Like a most

An ermine coat

And palace views

Even though he treats me coldly

It's a sign of inner fire

For inside he's thinking

"How can I refuse?"

"Sorry sir," Cannon grimaced. "There's one little problem. The queen decided to marry him off to the king of Doncaster next week."

"What?!" Fitzgerald exclaimed; his face turning red. "Making a decision without me? Who does she think she is?!"

"Uh, the queen?"

He slapped Melon in the face and yelled, "YOU SIMPERING SIMPLETON!"

"Well," Melon continued, clearly not getting the hint. "She is the Queen. She's got a crown and a scepter and sits in a big fancy chair-"

"SHUT UP!"

No! I won't let go

This peasant son won't turn and run because reckless royal chose another beau

Ah. . . it's a temporary setback

It's a momentary lapse

But conveniently my ego doesn't bruise

And the moment that I get back I will show them who's the boss

You can get your bullion there'll be no "I do's"

Yes suppose the boy goes missing

So the king says au revoir

Then I find him

Bring him back and makes the news

Then the Queen will be so grateful

That she'll pledge the heir to me

And I'll humbly tell her

"How can I refuse?"

When our ceremony's over

I'll arise and take the throne

And that nitwit Niall can kiss my shoe

For the kingdom and the castle will be mine and mine alone

If the crown should fit then, how can I refuse?

So get ready with the roses and stand by with the champagne

When you've got a brilliant plan you never lose

Yes before the chapter closes

I'll be as big as Charlemagne

It's a thankless job but how can I refuse?

How can I refuse?

He laughed evilly and his two 'sidekicks' encouraged him; cheering him on.

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