suicide hotline / phan

29

Okay so this chapter is dedicated to my best friend and favourite person ever ily, it was supposed to come out on her birthday but life happened and I literally forgot :(

~trigger warning~

Phil puts his head in his hands, using his fingers to gently rub his temples. The amount of calls he's had today is definitely taking it's toll, and honestly he just wants to go home back to Dan. He can feel his boss's eyes piercing through him every time he takes a semi-long break, and the pressure eats away at his brain. He jiggles his leg slightly under the desk, helping with the anxiety creeping at the back of his mind. Somehow somewhere in his mind he feels like something's wrong, as if something's happening that's causing him to panic. Yet, still, there's nothing particularly alarming to see when his eyes rake around the room. He shakes his head, putting the feeling down to his usual anxiety, and goes to pick up the phone again. For a moment his eyes brush past his pocket carrying the note Dan wrote him and he stops for a second, his mind jumping and racing with the unsettling thoughts he had earlier. Why on Earth was Dan out that early? Surely there was only one possibility, surely...

Phil smacks his leg against the desk in frustration, earning a few bitter glares from his co-workers. His face breaks out in an embarrassed blush, only causing his anxiety to highten and become more prominent in his mind. He sighs, glancing at his cell phone as his brain fights over whether to call Dan or not. Just to check. That couldn't hurt, right? Right. Phil fidgets in his seat, trying to unlock his phone without his boss catching him. He quickly swipes it off the desk, frantically typing in his passcode before clumsily finding Dan's contact. Just as his fingers hover over the 'call' icon, he hears a loud cough from behind him. Slowly, he places his cell back on the desk, turning around to face his smug-looking boss.

"Phil Lester, are we allowed personal phones at work?" He says, sounding deadly calm although his words are laced with salt.

Phil shakes his head hesitantly, turning around again and typing some notes into his work computer.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again" He says defeatedly, trying to ignore the pleased look on his boss's large face.

"We have lives to save, Phil" He says brightly, the fake cheerfulness making Phil's spine quiver in annoyance.

"Mhm" Phil replies half-heartedly, his mind still focused on Dan. Yet, still, he picks up the phone to take yet another call.

~~~

Dan stares straight ahead, his breathing shallow as he tries to deal with the unbearable pain. He can feel his vision slowly fading away with his already empty thought-track, and although he isn't alert to recognise the sensation, he decides he likes it. It feels calm, comforting in a way. Like the spaced-out feeling just before you slip into sleep, the part you generally can't remember. His eyes see a deep red all around, and in his distorted state he likes how it looks. At this point, it's all he can see. Somehow deep inside he knows what's happening, he knows that he's dying, but also, somehow, he's okay with that. Slowly, the colour fades away, then the light, and then the feeling. And, in that moment as he dances with death Dan has never felt more alive.

And then everything goes black.

~~~

"Hello?"

"Um, hey..."

"Could you please tell me your name and location?"

"My name is Jax Lawson, and I'm at my house. Um, 34 Thomas Lane"

Phil takes only a few seconds to quickly type down the name and location onto his computer, returning to speaking promptly.

"Okay, thank you... and what's going on right now Jax?"