suicide hotline / phan

42

Dan stands at the bedroom window of the apartment, his arms wrapped around his chest. His fingers delicately trace the material of Phil's shirt, which sits quite largely on his frame, only but making it more comforting. He fumbles for a box of cigarettes, before a strong pair of arms wrap around him from behind, Phil's face burying into the crook of his neck.

"I don't think so" Phil says quietly, gently taking the box from Dan's hand and leaning over slightly to place it on the bed. "You're quitting now, remember?"

"Really?" Dan complains jokingly, turning his head slightly to face Phil.

"No more cigarettes" Phil says, placing a small box in Dan's hand, which he briefly looks at.

"Really?" Dan says yet again, laughing slightly. "Phil, vaping is for edgy teenagers, not nicotine-addicted adults"

"You're nineteen Dan, not fifty" Phil laughs, and Dan rolls his eyes. "Also, it's better for you than cigarettes. You're using it, okay?"

Dan sighs before laughing lightly and nodding.

"Can we go out today?" He asks, smiling when Phil nods.

"Where to?"

"I was thinking we could go to a shopping centre- look around a bit, get some food" Dan suggests.

"Of course" Phil smiles, burying his head in the comfort of Dan's shoulder again. "You've never said that, y'know?"

Dan raises and eyebrow.

"Said what?"

"That you want to get food"

It's silent for a moment, the thought running through their minds.

"I want it now" Dan simply says, not understanding the impact of his words on Phil's absolutely glowing heart, his lips curling upward into a proud smile.

And, in this moment, there's only one thing on his mind.

He is so glad that they both made it.

~~~

"Really, Phil?"

"Yes Dan, we are not leaving this house until we've put up this tree and baked cookies" Phil says sternly, his arms crossed.

Dan laughs, his face full of admiration at how secretly childish Phil is.

"What flavour cookies?" He asks, a smile plastered across his face, causing two dimples to make an appearance.

"Cinnamon, duh" Phil says, his eyes softening at the dimples set in Dan's cheeks.

He'd never seen Dan smile much, and now all that he hopes for is that he can see it over and over again. He never wants to forget how his eyes light up slightly as his lips curve upwards gently, he never wants to forget how those dimples make him melt like butter, he just never wants to forget Dan like this. And, despite all of this, there are only two words that come to mind.

"You're cute"

Dan blushes, a soft pink colour painting his cheeks and Phil rolls his eyes, simply in disbelief at how Dan could've just gotten even prettier. He steps forward, pressing their lips together for a second before smiling back at him.

"I love you, Dan"

Dan looks slightly up at Phil, catching his lip in between his teeth whilst desperately trying not to smile even wider.

"I love you more"

They both look at each other for a moment, simply enjoying the fact that they're here- that they can finally rest, just appreciate each other.