Behind Closed Doors.{ A HAUSA LOVE STORY}.[ON HOLD]

Chapter 12

Flowers and the smell of wet sand filled the air it rained and I decided to go out on a walk around the house. The house seemed quite different tho. I can't put a finger on it but it was so different. Growing up I loved playing with sand and the feeling of wet sand beneath my feet felt good  I slipped out of my flip flops and placed my feet against the sand as moisture fills my feet. I saw a woman sitting on a bench around the corner of the house just right by the garden. I couldn't see her face properly tho.

My feet began to move towards her direction the closer I get the farther she gets and it was almost frustrating. It was too long before I got almost near her and then she looked up. My eyes met across a gentle soft looking blue eyes of my mother's. Shook and wavered I stood to the ground staring into those eyes as if for reassurance I moved closer until I was just right in front of her. She wore her favorite Abaya the one I think she told me the one that only loved her gave to her and I'd like to think it's not Abba. Expect it looked so new as if it was right from the shop. She still looked at me this time her eyes were teary. Confused and flustered I went in to give her a hug and it was almost as if I hugged thing air. I looked and she was still there but every time I hugged her it felt like thin air.

"Stop Mannah" she said smiling. That smile of hers I'll never forget.

"Maa? Maa why can't I hug you" I asked puzzled.

"I'm not real Mannah you're sleeping" she laughed.

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are Mannah". She laughed even harder. "You still argue don't you? You haven't changed,still the girl I brought up". She smiled to me bring her fingers to my cheeks feeling like light air on my skin.

"I'm here for a reason Mannah." She became serious now.

"What reason Maa?" I asked.

"I know what you're going through a lot Mannah I know it. You just have to be strong it's a test from Allah Azzawajal and you'll pass it In shaAllah. Manal Samaah is a great guy you just have to crack that side of him. Like you he's been through a lot and maybe much more worse the difference between you and him is you didn't let that affect you but he let it get the best of him. It's your duty to do that. Don't forget you're his wife you have rights on him and so does he and even more. Keep being strong keep being yourself show him there's more to life than violence and sadness show him you are here for him and he will be there for you too Mannah he won't realize it soon but he will eventually".

Quickly, tears formed in my eyes and I didn't even know how to speak.
"Maa Allah knows I've tried but all I get is beatings and harshness he's cruel maa so cruel and I can't handle him I can't. I know I'm strong but no". I wiped a lone tear sliding across my cheek.

"Maa do you have any idea what I go through every single day? I think some day someone will find my dead body in the house."

"What didn't kill me won't kill you Manal. I went through the same and mine even worse and I'm telling you this Manal have faith in Allah pray! Pray to him and that's all you can do to have your ways Manal."

I can't remember when last she called me Manal she always called me Mannah i don't know why but that made me smile.

"But Maa I..."

"No Manal not a word come here just sleep". She always find that when I cry and that makes me sleep every time.

She put my head on her lap and God that felt so real and comfortable and I felt my eyes getting heavier by each flutter of my lashes.