After my first breakup, i was single for a while. In that time i reflected on what happened and just went about my life as a normal single person. Back in new york, i was 8 and younger and i remember those days when i didn't have a care in the world. My heart was always happy, well until i didn't get what i wanted and i cried and eventually get it. I was a spoiled baby and as i grew i realised the meaning of responsibility and what it meant to be an adult and take charge of my life. I told myself i was going to be single until my high school was over and well guess what.
THAT WAS A BIG FAT LIE.
Form 4 started and i met this girl named Sophie. She wasn't from Trinidad. She was actually from New York and well me being from New York as well, the guys from class thought I should welcome her to the class. So i did. My first words to her was," Welcome to high school. My name is Alex."
She responded with," Thank you very much. My name is Sophie."
We clicked instantly. She had these eyes and everyone and i mean everyone asked if they were fake. Her eyes changed colour and they weren't contacts. Trust me i tried to see if they were contacts too. Her eyes were just colour changing pools and i stared into her eyes all the time we talked. She was short and fair with long silky brown hair and a great white smile that filled the room with light. She had this bunny nose that i adored about her and she still had her accent. So now its kinda ironic. I'm teaching her about trini culture when the same was done to me. Oh and Amanda was still in my class and she was still taken if you were wondering. Sophie caught my eye and i knew she was interested in me. Friday, the last day of the week, we were walking out of class and she told me wait for her outside class so i did. She came out a while after with her textbooks in her hands. Before i could offer to take those off her hands, you know because your boy is a gentleman and chivalry is not dead*smirks*, she kissed me on my cheek and walked away. Now remember what i said,
I wasn't getting into another relationship until school finished.
NOW LOOKED WHAT HAPPENED GUYS, YOUR BOY ATTRACTED ANOTHER FEMALE AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I ATTRACT A FEMALE.
Find out next time on, A Love Story, jkjk I'm kidding. I'm gonna tell you now, well at least part. Leave you on a cliff hanger.
So she walked away and im there just like," What happened?" I stood there for like 5 mins touching my cheek and thinking about what happened. Then my friend David called me and i left.
Next day she comes and we end up standing together at assembly and i ask her, " What was that yesterday?"
She said,"What are you talking about?"
Now ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something. When a girl kisses you on your cheek and then plays like she doesn't know anything about it, SHE WANTS YOU. SHE WANTS THE D.
Well idk about the d but she wanted me. So we continued talking and we got closer obviously and in my head I'm thinking,"Lord just protect my heart this time." And well guess what, that didn't happen. November 11th came around and she left. She left the school and went back to New York.
Now i wasn't mad at her, i was mad at myself. I wanted the love, i grieved for it. I was addicted to love no matter the means of getting it.
To me being in love is better than any drug. It takes away all the pain when your with that person and you feel above the world in a sense but sometimes love can make you crash worst than a the after effect of a shot or heroin. Heartbreak is real pain, it isn't physical but i realised this after my first break up. When your heart isn't happy, the rest of your body isn't. Your stomach becomes non-existent, your mind is hypnotised, your speech is slurred and your body is just a vessel for that empty soul.
Social media was our only way of connection and it worked.... for about 3 months.
Her birthday came around in March, a few days after mine in fact and i decided let me pop the question.
And no it wasn't, "Will you marry me?"
We were 16 guys come on. This isn't 1953. Just a random year i don't know why but anyways. On her birthday, i asked over facebook, "Will you be my girlfriend?" She was ecstatic. She said yes immediately and she told me she loved me with all the love in the world. You know how it goes and she went off for her birthday dinner. She went to the Cheesecake Factory with her best friend Lucy and her parents. When she came back, we talked till we fell asleep on the call. A few weeks later, we were on the phone just talking about her day and now she says this," I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore".
Alright wait wait wait, before you guys react and be like," WHATTTT? REALLY? SHE DID THAT?" Let me give a little background then you can okay? Alright nice.
So she said that we can't be together for some reason and she said she couldn't tell me for another reason and well, she hung up and never messaged me again. My whole heart was literally just tired. It wanted to leave my body literally, i felt it wanting to jump out and just leave. It couldn't take no more shit and my mind was arguing with my heart so much i got a headache. I just threw my phone in a corner and went in the rum cabinet and poured a glass of white oak.( A popular rum in Trinidad)
I got tipsy, but it took away the pain. The grieving, scarring, heart pinching pain. It went away or at least i thought it did. I woke up the next morning with a headache and my fatigued body couldn't even get up. Hungover wasn't even applicable to what i was. I was covered in sweat amd the smell of alcohol lingered from my mouth. I was disgusted with myself so i got up and took a shower. Not a steamy one, a nice cold one. It woke me up. My eyes wide open, first time in 36 hours.
Your new word guys
Broughtupsy( broth- up- see)
It means to say that a person was brought up right. Shown the right decorum and portrays it well.
