There were times when i wanted to know if she was okay. I would look to see if I would find anything that would let me know she is. But nothing. One night i decided to dm her on instagram. I said," Hey what's up? Haven't talked to you in a while. How has it been?"
The last seen was 7:14pm.
I texted her at 7:44pm.
I left the message and checked back at 10pm.
She was active 1 hr ago.
But no reply.
I didn't know what to do now. She moved on. She didn't care for me anymore. My throat just clogged up and my eyes drowned in tears and it overflowed down my cheeks like water running down a hillside. I couldn't bear the sight and the realization that i fucked up so bad and lost someone that would've done anything for me.
All because I said that i wasn't good enough.
Did i put myself in this situation?
You know what. I probably did. She didn't have a problem. Probably it was her exams that made her distant. Probably she wanted me to make an effort. But i did text and call her and she told me she was busy. I sent love texts and she wouldn't reply until late night. Probably i should've done more. Now I'll never know.
Days just dragged on day by day and I was just there. A ghost among everyone else just acting like i was happy when i wasn't.
Depression was real and it hit me hard. My eyes were drooping. My back arched and will to live just disappeared
