Now there's a ghost in the back of this room
And I don't like it
I fall asleep with my covers pulled up
And try to fight it
I gotta say it's hard to be brave
When you're alone in the dark
I told myself that I wouldn't be scared
But I'm still having nightmares
--
The Nogitsune had been ... traumatizing. Stiles could remember every move his body made and every word he spoke. He still felt the was the Oni's sword felt in his hands when he twisted it in Scott's body. He remembers knocking Kira out, he remembers placing the bomb in the Sheriff's Station, it killed multiple deputies who helped him with homework when he was little.
Every time he closes his eyes, he can hear the screams of pain and fear.
And he wants it all to just stop.
He can't sleep without getting nightmares. And sometimes he isn't even able to fall asleep at all. Sometimes he's afraid to even open his eyes, as if when he does, the Nogitsune would be back.
Sometimes he thinks he hears footsteps in his room. And the loud breathing the Nogitsune had. Sometimes he hears his own voice, telling him riddles he had never heard before. It didn't matter what he did, it wouldn't go away. He tried the simplest thing: pulling the covers over his head, but it only made him feel unsafe.
He wanted to go downstairs or to his bathroom to drink some water, but he was to scared to even get out of his bed when it was dark. His whole body would freeze, and he could hear his own heart beat loudly. So loud, it gave him a headache. And it made him feel like he had to throw up. But he didn't, because he couldn't move.
Sometimes he would just tell himself that he wasn't going to be afraid. It wasn't real. It wasn't happening. He was just imagining it, probably Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, but it didn't help at all.
It didn't just happen at night. Whenever he walked into the school, it felt like he was in Bardo all over again. He could still feel the snow faling down on his skin, the pain everywhere in his body. He could still feel the sword he had pressed against his stomach, about to actually push it further.
Whenever he would walk past Allison's locker, which is now covered in notes and pictures of her smiling, he could still feel himself falling down on the ground at Oak Creek. He wasn't conscious, but he could still hear Lydia's scream. It felt like it echoed through his body before he felt her cling to him, crying in his shoulder. Another dead because of the Nogitsune, but it felt like it was his own fault.
When he could see Scott in the hallways, Stiles would avoid him. Not that Scott would notice him. Scott didn't notice anyone, but Stiles can't blame him. He held his dead girlfriend, watched blood pouring from her mouth as she let out her last breath.
He didn't have to avoid Isaac, he had already left to France. Without a goodbye. At least, without a goodbye to Stiles.
Kira was the only one he didn't avoid. They didn't talk, but she would give him a small comforting smile, that somehow made him feel a little better for a few seconds.
But after awhile, he started avoiding placed that he reminded him about what happened, except his own house. It was impossible to avoid his house. He knew his dad would get even more worried. He had tried to make Stiles talk about it a few times, but Stiles didn't want to. He just stayed silent, staring at the wall in front of him until his dad just sighed and left him alone.
He felt himself getting worse every day. He lost interest in reading his favorite books. He barely listened to the radio anymore, and he slowly started forgetting important things. Like his mom's birthday, and the anniversary of her death a few days later.
Even though his room scared him, he stayed in bed most of the day. Hiding underneath his covers. For days, or weeks, he didn't notice. He only got out when he heard his dad's voice, telling him that if he wasn't going to school, they would send a lawyer, because it was the law. He had to go to school.
Not that he was paying attention when he was at school. But the teachers left him alone, thankfully. Even Coach seemed to leave him alone, maybe still shocked about the fact that Allison had died.
And now he was here, sitting on his bed. The light next to his bed turned on before it even got dark. He's tired, but he has slept too much, he's not able to fall asleep again. He can't help but whimper when the cold air hits his skin.
But then he realizes, he had closed his window.
He hears footsteps and heavy breathing. His body freezes and he closes his eyes, holding his breath.
"Stiles." The voice says. But it's not the Nogitsune. It's Derek.
Derek, who he hadn't seen after everything that happened. Not because Derek was mourning, it seemed that after everything he had been through, Derek wasn't affected by death anymore. At least nor for long. Stiles does remember when Boyd had been killed, the Alpha's placing the Beta's body on Derek's claws. He remembers the sadness on Derek's face and the tears that were mixed with the water dorps.
Stiles turns around to look at Derek, who doesn't look any different since he saw him for the last time. Stiles has no idea how long it has been, if it has been just a few weeks or months.
Derek sits down on his bed, his hand placed on the younger boy's back. His hand is warm, Stiles can feel it through his shirt.
It's a small gesture, kinda big if you're talking about Derek, but it's enough. Enough for him to let it all out. Enough for him to reach out to the older werewolf and cry into his chest.
It didn't help him a lot. But at that moment, it helped enough to get through the night.
