On Her Majesty's Secret Service ~ H.S.

Chapter 26

When I get back to base and hand the small flash drive to General Sanders, I don't even have the energy to shoot him a suspicious glance. Although, rationally, I should be concerned with giving him such important information, the thought doesn't even cross my mind. I'm way too upset right now to give any other person even just a sliver of a thought. The only thing I can manage to think about is Harry and his awful behaviour.

I realize I'm the first recruit back to base. I know all the rest will spend another good hour or two trying to retrieve the information that I've already stolen. They can't know that I've taken it already. That means I still have another hour or two before Harry gets back. Of course, I doubt he's trying to complete the mission. No, he'll be gone so he can continue to come on to that random woman at the bar.

I get changed in the dormitory, about to lay down, hoping peace will come to mind, but stop myself. There's no way in hell that I'm going to sleep in the same bed as Harry tonight, let alone the same room as him. Judging from the way he acted, I assume he's on the same page. Without another thought I grab my blanket and pillow and haul them over to the gym. The sense of familiarity I get after walking in is surprising, but welcome. I lay my usual two mats over each other and settle on the floor.

I wonder when this stupid feeling in my chest will subside, an ache equal parts due to anger and hurt. Actually, I wonder when I'll finally understand why the fuck I feel this way in the first place. Who cares if Harry is off flirting with some random woman? It doesn't matter to me, Harry and I aren't together. It doesn't matter that we kissed, obviously, people kiss all the time and nothing comes of it. It seems like nothing is to come of our kisses either. What's pissing me off most right now is the understanding Harry seemed to have that me flirting with Leon for a mission is the equivalent of him flirting with some random woman just for the fun of it. I didn't have a choice with my suitor, but he definitely did.

I sigh loudly and cross my arms. The lights go off in the gym quickly and I try to pull myself into sleep. Unfortunately, my mind along with my heart are racing at too fast a pace for me to remain calm, so I'm left to sit and stew in silence. After half an hour like this, I can't take it anymore. I have to get up to do something, anything, to distract myself. If I leave myself to just sit quietly and consider everything that happened, I might go mad.

I leave my makeshift bed behind and venture into the mess hall to grab a glass of water. Although I expect the training facility to still be empty, I find Sarah and Mac sit at a table with their own waters. I can't decide between whether or not I want to be alone or with people, but I realize that talking to another human being will be better than dwelling on my own troubles.

Sarah sees me approach and offers me a smile at first. Then she notices that I'm alone and slowly begins to frown. My shadow, being Harry, is not with me right now. Harry is always with me in the evening.

"Alright, Rosy?" Mac questions cheerfully, seeming to be blissfully oblivious of my situation. Although he may not pick up on the tension within me, Sarah definitely does.

"Yeah, alright." I respond, trying to make myself sound normal and utterly failing.

"Mac, give us a moment alone please." Sarah commands. Although Mac shoots her an odd parting look, he complies with her request. I take Mac's old seat across from Sarah and we only stare in silence at each other for a minute.

"What happened?" She eventually asks. I shake my head and look to the side, not able to meet her gaze. I feel like a total twat for feeling hurt over Harry's flirting in the first place. I don't know how I'll be able to admit it out loud if I can't even admit it to myself.

"Harry and I got into a fight. I think." I decide that I must tell her. Just like before, what's the point of keeping all these feelings bottled up when I have a perfectly good outlet sitting across from me?