Nicolette (The New Girl #4)

Chapter 5

My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, I think it's best that I just don't talk to people.

My stupid Juul ran out of battery and I forgot to snatch the charger so I threw it out.

I ditched school and took a city bus to the mall.

I went over to the ashtray and took a cigarette but that looked like it would still be smokable and I lit it with the pack of matches I stole from my house.

Ah, refreshing. This was way better than using a stupid rechargeable vape or Juul. Plus, I genuinely like the taste of tobacco. I must get it from my dad, according to my mom.

I lied back on a bench and smoked the rest of the cigarette.

Maybe I should just die. I could finally meet my dad up in heaven. I'm sure he would be happy to finally see me. My mom makes it seem like he really loved me.

Life feels like it's all just shades of grey. I'm sure heaven with my dad would be full of color.

After I finished up my thoughts, I took the next bus back and made it in for my last class of the day, math.

"Nicolette, care to answer this question?"

I looked around the room, not knowing what to say. I honestly wasn't paying attention this past half an hour.

I just shrugged and let him call on someone else. I've never been much of a math person anyways.

After school, Scylla came up to me.

"Are you coming?" she asked.

"Actually, I'm going to walk home today. The weather is really nice," I said, not making any eye contact.

"Suit yourself," she said and she walked away.

I started walking towards the back of the school where the forest was. This was the long way home, but it always intrigued me. Nature is one of the only things I actually liked about this earth. Instead, humans had to go and destroy it.

I listened to the birds chirping and the soft breeze. I looked over and saw a little marijuana garden. I'm sure the owners won't mind if I take just one. I'm doing this in memory of my dad anyways.

I took the plant and rolled it up into a joint.

I lit it and started to smoke it. I guess my mom was right, I am just like my dad.

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"Nicolette!" my English teacher called out, "why don't you take a turn at reading?"

"No thanks," I said.

"Yes you will, you will do as I say, now read."

"No."

"I'll fail you," she said.

I stood up, "fine, fail me. I don't fucking care, bitch."

I walked out of the room and ran to the secluded bathroom I always went to.

"Hey, you're here," I said.

"Yeah," said Maude, "what's going on with you?"

"I just told off my teacher and I had to run," I said.

"You look like you need something to calm you down," she said, "go reach into the ceiling tiles in the farthest stall."

"Why?"

"Just do it," she said.

I was hesitant but then I did. I grabbed what was up there and brought it back down.

"Water bottles?" I asked.

"Drink it," she said.

"Are you crazy? Who knows how long these have been up there."

"Just do it," she said, rolling her eyes.

I took a sip and realized it was alcohol.

"Told you," she said.

"Did you put this here?" I asked.

"No, some bitches last year hid some alcohol up there, hoping they'd get to it during the final 9th grade dance but they locked these bathrooms and they never got them back," she said.

"Nice," I said, stashing the bottles in my backpack for later.

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"What happened in class today?" asked my mom.

I rolled my eyes, "my English teacher is a bitch."

"Hey, don't say that," she said.

"It's true."

"Okay, how about we have a little meeting with her sometime this week and we can see what we can work out," she said.

"Whatever," I said.

She looked at me sympathetically and then walked away.

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I feel weird. My legs are numb. I have a headache. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm having thoughts that aren't mine anymore. I can't stop them.