Life Sucks and Then You Die (boyxboy)

Life Sucks and Then You Live

Hey friends! I hope everything is going well for you and that you've been liking the story so far. I'm so glad to be working on it again after so long, but am sad to say that this chapter is the last. I was surprised, myself, that it had come to an end so soon, but I am so grateful to have been able to finish it and hope to write more stories soon. Enjoy the chapter!

ETHAN'S POV:

It's Thursday afternoon and I'm sitting in the Group Room, putting away the markers I'd been using for art therapy, when a staff member walks in and gets my attention. "Ethan," she says. "Phone call for you in the hallway." Confused, I walk into the hallway toward the phone. Who would be calling me? I just saw my mom this morning and I don't think anyone else even knows I'm here. Unless... The staff member picks up the phone, says, "Here he is," into it, and hands it to me. I take the phone and wait. "Ethan?" I hear Greyson's worried-sounding voice. "Babe? Are you there?" I press a random number and it makes a beep sound. I hear a slight sigh of relief. "There are probably people around you right now, so I understand if you don't feel like talking, but I had to ask you something. I saw your mom at school yesterday and she told me where you were." This wasn't new information to me, as Mom had filled me in when she came this morning. Greyson continues, "I talked to my mom and asked if I could come see you and she called your mom who said it was up to you, so I was wondering... Do you want me to come see you?" Silence. He speaks again, "Right. Um. Press a button for yes, don't press anything for no." I pause, considering. I don't know how to explain my thoughts through button-pressing, so I finally just decide to let him come. I press a button. He sighs with relief. "Okay, great. My mom says she can take me tonight before you have dinner. Probably around 4:30. Does that sound good?" I press a button. "Cool. Okay. Well, I'll see you soon. Love you, E." I sigh and hang up. What am I going to do?

GREYSON'S POV:

I hold my breath in the silence as I wait for his response. Maybe this is his answer. Maybe he doesn't want to see me. Then I hear the beep and I sigh in relief. I tell him when I'll be coming and we end the call. I get myself ready, making sure not to bring anything with me that won't be allowed in the hospital. I grab an extra T-shirt and stuff it into my pocket. I tell Mama I'm ready and we head out.

When we get to the hospital, we check in and they tell us I'm on the approved visitors list for Ethan (his mom arranged that today). Mom tells me she'll wait in the hall so I can have some privacy with Ethan. A staff member has me empty my pockets and show them that I don't have anything the patients could use as a weapon (which scares me a little) and he lets me into the locked ward. He leads me to the visitor room and tells me Ethan will be in here shortly. I thank him and sit in a chair to wait.

When the door finally reopens a few minutes later, Ethan walks into the room. I jump to my feet. He looks disheveled and exhausted. His clothes are baggy and wrinkled, his hair's a mess, and there are bags under his eyes, but he's alive. He's alive and he's safe and he's in the same room as me and I can't help myself as I bound forward and wrap him in my arms. I feel his body stiffen and he doesn't hug me back. I let go and take a step back. "Sorry... I just missed you." I wait for him to say something, but instead he silently takes a seat in the corner of the room. I follow and sit in the chair next to his. I put my hand on top of his and he pulls it away. I look into his eyes, searching for something, but not knowing exactly what. I speak again, "School's sucked without you. I have no one to trade looks with about all the dumb heteronormative bullshit they make us read in English." I smile, but Ethan doesn't return it. "So, how are things with you?" Ethan raises his eyebrows, but still says nothing. I mentally slap myself for asking such a stupid question. I quickly try to remedy it, "I mean, how are things here? Is everyone treating you okay? Do you like the groups?" He shrugs. I try again, "How's the food?" Another shrug. "Have you gotten any reading done?" Another shrug and a slight nod. In an attempt to get him to actually speak this time, I try a question that doesn't have a "yes" or "no" answer, "What have you been reading lately?" He shrugs and looks away.

My heart sinks in my chest. "Baby, please talk to me. I'm sorry about how everything happened. I just want to be here for you. Please, say something." He still doesn't look at me. I can feel tears beginning to fill my eyes. "I'm sorry that my mom called CPS. I'm sure you probably hate me now. I'm sorry if I ruined things for you. And I know you don't talk to people, but I thought it was different with me. Maybe I ruined that, too." A single tear streams down my face. He turns to look at me and my heart breaks when I see that he's crying, too."

ETHAN'S POV:

"I'm sorry if I ruined things for you. And I know you don't talk to people, but I thought it was different with me. Maybe I ruined that, too." I'm crying, unable to believe that he could ever think he ruined anything. "Ruined things for me? Greyson, you couldn't ruin anything if you tried. From the second I met you, you've made everything better in my life. You literally saved my life, Greys. And more than that, you've given me a life worth actually living. You gave me a reason to get up every morning and go to bed every night looking forward to tomorrow. I don't hate you, Greys. I could never hate you. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. I love you, Greys." More tears pour down Greyson's face as he pulls me into a desperate kiss. When we finally part, we stay holding on to each other, our foreheads pressed together. "You're not mad?" He asks quietly. "Even at my mom?" I take a deep breath before answering, "No, Greys. I'm not mad at you or your mom. She did the right thing. And as hard as it's going to be for me to accept this and get through everything I have ahead of me, I know this is what's best. My step-father is out of our lives, I'm getting help, and I actually spoke to my mom for the first time in five years." Greyson sits up and his face is glowing as he says, "You did?! That's amazing, Ethan! I'm so proud of you! She must be so happy." "She is," I smile. "And so am I." Greyson smiles back and holds my hand. "Me too," he says, and gently kisses my forehead.

I look to the clock on the wall and inform Greyson that visitation ends in ten minutes. We spend the rest of the time just sitting there, holding hands and talking about random stuff that doesn't matter because the only thing that really matters is that I have Greyson and my mom and Ellie in my life. And I may not be better just yet, but looking into Greyson's eyes, I know I will be.

For the last couple of minutes, we just sit quietly with our foreheads resting together, and I allow my mind to wander. I always kind of thought that you're born, life sucks, and then you die, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're born, life sucks for a little while, things get better, and then you live. And sitting here, with my amazing boyfriend sitting across from me, I make the decision to live long enough to find out.

Aaaaahhh!!!! I can't believe it's over. This story has been such a ride for me. I started writing it years ago when I was going through a lot of difficult stuff in my life. I created this story as a way to vent my feelings, but it ended as a reflection of how much better things have gotten for me since then. I know that life can be rough, but I hope that all of you, like Ethan, decide to stick around long enough to see it get better. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me and please be sure to vote and comment one last time.

Don't be a litterbug,
A.J.