Nothing has happened lately, I've just been doing my normal routine of going to the library, grabbing a book and sitting on the floor in the back of the room. Right now I'm onto the 2nd Hunger Games book. Poussey keeps me company most days and other days Taystee keeps me company. Sometimes it's good to be alone.
Poussey sits next to me and asks if I like the book. "Yeah it's getting interesting." "So hows life outside this place?" "Nothing special. America is still a shithole." "I bet it is." She says and we both laugh.
The lunch bell sounds and everybody leaves, leaving Poussey and I alone. It's quiet, but not an awkward quiet. Poussey then puts her hand on my thigh causing me to look from her hand to her face. She is biting her lip and then it's like I'm drawn to her because we both lean in making our lips touch softly. I start to feel butterflies in my stomach.
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Our lips start to move in sync. I want to pull away, but I can't. Before she could put her tongue in my mouth I pull away, looking away from her. She must feel bad because she says "I'm sorry Yn." and gets up and leaves. I have no idea what just happened. All I know is that it can't happen again.
.....
Thanksgiving is today and everybody seems really excited. Poussey and I just exchange glances. I want to go talk to her, but I don't even know what to say. I know I shouldn't have, but I really liked that kiss. I can't let her know that though, so I'm going to continue to keep my distance.
Another thing is Pornstache keeps fucking with me and I swear I'm going to kill him if he doesn't leave me and these women alone. Here he comes again.
"Hey Yn. Got any plans tonight?" He asks. "How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off." I walk away and hear laughter coming from some of the women. Mendez then shouts, "Shut the fuck up you miserable bitches!"
That's the last fucking straw. I walk up to him and slap the shit out of him. "If I here you call another one of these women a bitch, then I will make you my bitch, cut your dick off, and feed it to my dog."
He silently walked away. He's scared of me now. Yay! .....
Christmas is coming up and I'm so ready to go see my family. I'm taking off on Christmas Day, but I'll be there for the Christmas pageant on Christmas Eve. I still haven't talked to Poussey and I really think I should. I go to the library like I do everyday, but instead of doing my normal routine, I make it a point to talk to Poussey.
"Hey." I smile. "Hey. How are you?" She asks. "I'm good. How are you?" "I've been better, but it's cool." "You wanna talk about it?" "Maybe later. It's a lot of people in here today." I nod grabbing my book going to my usual corner.
Later that day
Time flew by today and I don't know if Poussey is going to take me up on the offer to talk or not. All I know is if she doesn't come to me in the next 30 minutes I'm out. I hear a knock on the door and I see it's Poussey. I go to the door.
"Does the offer still stand?" I smile and nod. We go into the library and she sighs sitting on the table. "What's wrong?" I ask. "I've developed feelings for Taystee and I know she's straight, but when I try to just be a friend she starts acting weird. Thinking I'm pushing up on her all the time. I'm not by the way. I've accepted that we won't be together. I've started developing feelings for someone else." I get the feeling that she's talking about me. "Who is this other person?" I ask folding my arms. She pulls me closer to her so that I'm in between her legs and out faces are inches apart. "I think you already know the answer to that." She kisses me softly and then pulls away. She looks at my face trying to read my expression. I couldn't help myself, but I put my hands on the sides of her face and kiss her.
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Our lips moving in sync our tongues wrestle for dominance. Her hands start to massage my ass and I want to pull away, but I can't. I finally get the strength to do so and a small smile inches on her face. I smile back.
"I think you better get back to your bunk." I say slowly. She nods and starts to walk out, but then stops. "You're coming tomorrow right? Ya know for the Christmas Pageant?" "Yes I'll be there." "See you tomorrow." She walks out of the library leaving me there to process what just happened and why I kissed her back. Why am I so attracted to her?
.....
It's Christmas Pageant day and everyone is busy getting ready for it. All work hours have been canceled due to the Pageant and I'm kind of relieved because I don't even know how to talk to Poussey right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. At this point I just want to get out of here.
Later that day
The Pageant is about to start and it started off with Cindy, Taystee, and Poussey singing. It was beautiful. I didn't know they could sing. Especially Poussey, her voice is angelic.
After the Pageant
I make it a point to go talk to Poussey, but I can't. I see her and we make eye contact and she smiles and looks as if she about to walk to me, but I gotta get out of there. I nicely smile back and exit going to my car. Banging my head on my steering wheel. I'm so stupid. I should've just said hi. I can't possibly be falling for an inmate.
