I'm fighting my mind every minute, every hour of every day. I'm hoping and wishing that these unpleasant thoughts will go away. The disgust and the hate that I've felt since elementary school.
Its a strange thing, being called ugly and fat your entire life to then be called beautiful and told you're desirable. It's a real mind fuck, you know? I've spent so long feeling disgusted by myself, by my body and my emotions.
I've wished awful things for myself and I've tried to hurt myself but I'm working and growing towards self love. I fight with those demons and those faces that haunt my memory, allowing the tender words that you whisper when you hold me replace all that hate.
Please don't take these words as a plea for attention or pity, they're just my way of reassuring myself that I can over come the things that have held me back for so long. These words, written across your screen are my reality that I've had to accept. The scars of my past that I've learned to embrace. I'm not broken, you choose to be broken and I refuse to be. I've been bruised and bent a little but I will not allow the weight of my past to break me.
I've been told that my words and the thoughts that go through my head can help people. I guess sharing the darkest parts of my soul can heal more than just me. So here I am, bleeding out onto your screen.
