Loving You From a Distance | Asher Angel

Seven: Confused Pt. 2

Asher's P.O.V

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(y/n): Ash I'm so sorry. I just don't think I'm ready. I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you. Not like that, or this. I don't want to see you hurt. If you need time alone I'm okay with that. You don't have to respond either, I understand you're upset with me. I'm sorry.

Asher: You don't have to say sorry. It's not your fault. Just come in the treehouse. Let's talk in here.
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She wasn't mad. She still loves me. God, why did I say the things I did? Shouldn't she hate me by now? I don't deserve her. I hear her run and then come up the ladder. Then I see (y/n)'s tear stained face. She gives a weak smile and runs into my arms. She wraps her arms around me tightly. I do the same.

"I'm so sorry. You don't deserve what I'm putting you through, I just- I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have." (y/n) says, trying not to cry.

"It's okay, you're not the one who should be saying sorry. It's me. I'm sorry for thinking now would be a good time to ask such a stupid question. I'm sorry for everything. I don't ever mean to try to hurt you in any way. I didn't mean the things I said. I'm so sorry." I let go and so does she, letting a small smile show.

"Promise me something?" She asks with a worried look on her face.

"What is it?" I ask, we look each other in the eyes for a second before she sighs and responds.

"Can you promise me that, even if you're away and, you do, have to leave home, for good." She pauses, looking me in the eyes again. "J-just don't forget me, th-that's all." She lets out a small chuckle. I knew that, that wasn't everything she wanted to say. But I let it go, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to promise more.

"I promise." We both sigh. Yes, we both apologized to one another. But there was still something that was bothering me. I have to distance myself. If she doesn't want me then I need to stop being delusional and find someone who does. Because I'm still hurting. She and I might've said sorry but it doesn't feel any different. I just wish I never asked the stupid question, then I wouldn't have to do this to myself and to her. But as of right now, I wasn't going off to a great start of distancing myself. I just love her. Maybe too much.

"So, are we okay Ash?" (y/n) asks as she reaches for my hand, I flinch a little. But let her hold it.

"Of course. There's no reason we shouldn't be." I pull her into a hug. She giggles and holds onto me tightly. Then she snuggles into my chest. I hold her, I didn't want to let go. Not ever.

"So what are we doing now?" I ask her, she shrugs and sighs.

"We can go back inside, if you want to. But just let me hug you a little longer." She squeezes me tighter, then looking into my eyes.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I smile at her, then continue to hold her. I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes. Like said before, I'm really not doing a good job of being distant. I just can't. I'm too attached to her. Why did I put myself in this situation? I hate myself for this.

"Is everything okay?" She asks as she scratches my back. God. How do I get over such an amazing girl?

"Everything's better than before." I sigh and close my eyes.

I don't know what to say anymore. I feel like nothing I say is going to help me distance myself. What am I supposed to say to her then? What am I supposed to do? I feel like crying again. I'm just so confused now. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I just want to go to sleep, with her in my arms. But I know I shouldn't do that.