Checkmate (BuckyBarnes x OC)

Trust

I stood and stretched my shoulders for they were sore from the Soldier's grip. I was happy that I ran into him and thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to come with me to Europe to find my family and a safe house to spend some time at. While I picked up my gun and dusted off the dirt from my clothes (again) that I collected from the ground moments before, he began questioning me.

"Why are you here?" He saw the gun in my hands and because of my on-guard posture I assumed he thought I was sent here to get him. I quickly assured him that's not the case and that I was there on my own account. He looked very tired. He must've come here as quickly as the battle at the Triskelion that Natasha was telling me about ended and didn't get much sleep since. He had intense undereye bags going on and even his posture was drooped like he didn't have enough energy to keep his body upwards. This fight probably drained him out completely. He even had to sit down on the log nearby after, but he was still very much alert of what I was doing.

"So why did you come here?" I asked him. He was quiet for almost a minute before answering. I saw the lack of leadership took a bigger toll on him than it did on me. He was never left to his own thoughts before and if he did remember the days before Hydra he probably remembered it like a completely different time - he was born in 1917 after all, he probably thought coming into this world was like travelling through a time machine. I was never put into the cryo chamber, I was never frozen in time. I never got the chance to experience it and back in my glory days of being an assassin I cursed myself for being too young for having to be preserved at my age. I was thankful for it now, even though I had to go through multiple horrible trainings instead of just having my brain frozen.

"I was hoping someone from Hydra would come here to scour through the wrecks," he said plainly. I sat next to him on the log. My eyes darted to the floor as much as I wanted to make eye contact with him. But I simply didn't dare. I was scared of him now that I was actually conscious of what I was doing. Heck, I was scared of myself.

"Why?"

This time he decided eye contact is needed. I felt his burning gaze searching for my eyes, so I turned. I would never forget the hate in his eyes then. It was like a raging inferno of his past worth neglecting when he said, "I can't rest until all of those motherfuckers are dead. I won't stop until I catch them all and send them to hell where they belong."

Immediately after those words were spoken his eyes softened. It was like the moment he said those words they reminded him of the monster he thought he was and even if he wanted it, he couldn't bring himself to kill more and to take and ruin more lives than he already had. It was scary knowing I had the same will and regrets.

I really wanted to ask him what he's been doing for the past days, what he's been feeling and experiencing. I thought maybe if we talked it through with eachother we'd be the only ones who could help ourselves. I scooted closer to him. "It's scary right? This new world we walked into without wanting it?" I wanted him to trust me and I figured I should start the conversation with a topic we could both relate to. He scoffed and shook his head. I knew he just didn't want to admit it to himself. "You know it's okay to feel this way," I tried convincing him, "All I've been doing for the past few days is crying and cursing myself for ever doing those things."

"What have you been doing since the fight at the highway?" I told him about Natasha and how our stories intertwined with eachothers. I didn't tell him about Steve or the fact that he's searching for his long lost friend. I didn't sink into detail much, I figured he just wanted the basics. I also told him how I decided not to stay there.

"Why did you run away?"

I guess that really was the question, huh. "I.." I went silent. He was definitely thinking I was reckless for acting this way, yet I still hesitated. I declined shelter and support only to come here and escape further away from any chance of getting it. Ever. I started to bite my nails like I did when I was put under pressure and tried to avoid his gaze.