it's night.
i look out my window at the passing trees, the lights of the city mock the skies above them. pretending to twinkle like stars do.
we drive farther away from cilivazation, now on a dirt road with trees and a field on both sides.
we pull over. i step out onto the cool crisp air of the night. my siblings follow my lead, my parents set the telescope up.
stargazing.
we're welcomed by the sound of coyotes. they were so close to us, it startled me a bit.
i grabbed the blanket and snacks and crawled into the back of the truck. taking my shoes off in the process. my youngest sibling joined me.
while everyone was distracted in preparing, i heard the sound of engines. looking up, three cars had turned the corner and sped past us.
i held my siblings head down, not wanting them to see us. every hair on my skin stood, the thought of my razor popped in my head for some strange reason. i had shaved my legs earlier that day.
why did i recall that thought?
perhaps it's because women shouldn't have hairy legs. we should feel as soft as a baby's skin.
i imagined being raped. them feeling the smoothness of my skin. i did not want that.
in that moment i felt paranoid, and i hated the feeling of being a woman. to be fearful of my own body, it's a curse.
i quickly put my shoes on and told my family that they're going to do illegal street racing.
im not very sure how i knew it. i assume its from all the stories ive read of illegal activities.
my parents were uncertain, they wanted to stay.
i however, told my siblings to get in the car. we stayed in there, and soon after my parents joined us after packing the telescope.
we sat there for what seems like an eternity.
the engines on the end of the road kept roaring, they were preparing to race.
stay. we stood our ground.
my mother, being the person she is. she decided to grab a flashlight and annoy them. my father stopping her from upsetting the racers any further.
lights flashed and flashed. the fancy cars grew impatient and demanded us to leave.
eventually, we did.
disappointed and frightened for my safety, i cursed them on every star i saw after that.
we drove further down the road and pulled over on a golf course driveway. we waited there too, expecting them to speed by so we could get back to our spot.
no movement.
at this point i felt like they're full of bullshit. i make up scenarios in my head where i damage their fancy cars and feed them to the coyotes. where i was powerful and punished them for disrupting the peace and caliginosity of the night.
so, we left. only to realize that another fancy car was parked at the very end of the road. probably the person who declares the winner and exchanges the money placed in bets.
driving past, we found a parking lot to stay in. stepping out of the car, i place my foot on the ground to then be welcomes by a cars headlights.
someone had pulled into the parking lot, may i say, in the middle of the night, in the middle of fucking nowhere.
they slowly got closer to us and turned off their lights. i rushed back inside and we quickly drove away.
the fucking creep watched us drive away.
next, we decided to go down another dirty road. this one had to be empty. it was in between farms, farther away from the main road.
jokes on us, there was a car there with their lights on. when we turned around we noticed more cars were heading this direction. we quickly escaped the situation and made our way home.
the fire we made in our backyard danced in front of me, but i couldn't feel it's warmth. mosquitos picked at my skin, decorating me with its kisses.
i drank my can of iced tea quickly. pondering on the scenarios that could have played out tonight.
what would have happened if any of those stranger of the night came to talk to us? what would happen if they knew a young female was there?
i felt disgusted by my own skin, now pink and itchy.
my mother joked about hoping they lose their legs during the race, then they'll have to live with the regret of doing something illegal.
my sibling boasted about trying a wheelchair and how sad it was. i spoke up saying he isn't the only one who's tried it.
the family grew quiet after that. we just enjoyed each other's presence.
my mindset was of one of a writers. i wished upon another star to be able to speak the way i think.
i stared at the Big Dipper and wondered what life is up there in the vast galaxies.
there isn't really a point to this writing, i just felt the need to explain my eventful night. although, it's now 1:30am and i've grown a bit tired.
i hope you all are having better luck at me trying to look at the stars, even if it's through your bedroom window.
the next star you see in the night sky, wish upon it. it may be selfish for me to request a wish from you but, please wish for covid-19 to stop spreading. i really miss my friends.
thank you, and, goodnight.
@moonchild.2244
