PTSD | Chapter 3

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((/ THIS CHAPTER IS TRIGGERING AND UPSETTING FOR SOME, MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESSES, SEXUAL HARRASMENT AND PEDOPHILIA \))

Jaren's POV

I could really use a vape break right about now.

"Jaren!" Cameron yells, so I pass him the ball.

Cameron takes the shot and gets it, running over and high-fiving me.

"Nice shot!" I cheer, grinning up at him.

"Nice pass." He retorts, as Carlos and the others gather around to congratulate Cameron on the shot.

Cameron play for the school basketball team, naturally, and he's actually really good at lay-ups.

Jonathan's team is losing badly, but they're not bad either.

They still look mad.

Should I talk with them and explain? Do I need to explain myself?

I'm not telling them anything about my past, they can get stuffed if they ask about that, but I can explain to them that that name is what people called gay people where I'm from and it just slipped.

But would they care?

They seem very hurt by the name, and I feel like they'd just yell at me and call me a homophobe.

But if I don't explain myself, won't they just think the same?

"Wrap it up!" Coach yells, blowing his whistle. Everyone on my team cheers and we all head into the change room.

I gulp slightly when I see Luke in his locker beside mine.

I hesitantly walk over and unlock my locker, glancing over at Luke as I grab my bag out and change back into my sweat pants.

I pull off my shirt and pull my hoodie on before I finally face Luke.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly, hoping he doesn't lash out at me.

"Why'd you say it?" Luke asks, closing his locker and facing me.

"Where I come from, it's normal to call gay people that and so it just kind of slipped. I'm used to hearing that word instead of... Nicer terms." I reply, rubbing my hands together. "It just slipped, I swear." I add, looking down at my shoes.

"You don't think before you speak, do you?" He asks, not seeming angry anymore. I shake my head, feeling really guilty at the moment.

"Jaren, come on." Cameron calls, but I tell him to wait.

"Look, I'm really sorry and I'll give you some time to cool off. I'm gonna hang with Cameron at lunch to give you space." I say, looking down at the ground.

"Ok." Is all he says, pushing past me and heading out the door with Jonathan.

I put my bag over my shoulder and follow Cameron and Toby our, and I instantly notice the connection between them.

They pretty much scream 'gay' when they're together.

"So we should probably warn you about John." Toby says, lacing his fingers with Cameron's.

"He's a bit of an asshole and he has a dark sense of humour." Cameron says, looking down at me as I walk beside him. "He's a funny guy once you get to know him, but he doesn't have the best reputation." Cameron adds, glancing at Toby.

"So I've heard." I reply, humming softly.

"In we go." Toby cheers, pushing open the doors to the cafeteria. He starts heading towards the table with all his friends, but Cameron hangs back and walks with me.

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