I was not a trained submissive, why? Well, I was afraid of giving up my will to another person. Even though, like any submissive, I craved giving my freedom away to another person and letting them own me, the other half of me was scared and disagreed.
I desired a dominant to take charge of my physical and mental, pushing me beyond my boundaries, granting me new forms of bliss, and ensuring that I was cared for even after the experience. BDSM fulfilled all these desires. Even though I didn't have a Dom or even actually take part, I worked at a BDSM club and got to observe plenty of scenes, I'm made into a puddle after watching them. I loved the community of trust, respect, and kink. The club I worked at was very nice, the owner who I only know by his name, Eric Blackwell - who owns two different clubs in the city, I work at his second club. Everyone tells me the club he works out of is even bigger than ours, hard to believe. We provide several rooms for our members to use as scenes, along with the lounge area which houses the bar and stage, and is where all main events take place. It's a beautiful and safe environment for people to enjoy.
"Lahni, clean up those tables in section B please!" I jumped in surprise at the bartender's yell, It was closing time now for guests and members so we were all cleaning.
I nodded and got to it. The manager arrived shortly after I had nearly finished cleaning my final table.
"Okay everyone, tomorrow we're going to have a special visitor here, the owner of the club is going to be coming in and just visiting us, as you all know we are his second BDSM club, and he doesn't stop by too often so I'd like to do a special table set up for him, name card, back row table as he usually requests, a bottle of his favorite liquor, and that's all just be ready tomorrow! We're gonna be busy," She finishes, then walks up to me.
Angie—an attractive light skin woman with dark bouncy hair and gentle brown eyes, was a dominatrix and someone I consider a close acquaintance. Because of her reputation as a dependable individual and friend to Mr. Blackwell, she secured the position of manager. When she hired me two years ago not long after we met at a gathering held by the club, they host events every year for people interested or people who already participate to meet others in our lifestyle and get educated if they were interested. I was shy and she was outgoing and made me feel welcome, we hit it off and we've been friends ever since.
"Lahni, have you been hiding from me? I haven't seen you in days sweetheart!" She hugs me, and I laugh and shake my head.
"No, I haven't, I've just been busy," I reassured her.
"So," she begins, a mischievous look in her eye. "Any hot dominants caught your eye lately?" She teased—Angie was the only person who knew my dilemma.
"Plenty, just none that have changed my mind," I say nonchalantly as I wipe the table in circular motions.
"Oh I'm sure someone will," she nudges me, "You'd be a great submissive with training, you have all the right desires, even that feisty resilience is a good quality, If you didn't want to try it out with just anyone, I would personally train you," Angie assured me lightheartedly.
"I appreciate that I just don't know" I mumble, she nods understandably with a small sad smile.
"It would be great if you found a partner who could help you embrace your submissive side, Lahni. That way, you could freely explore your true sexual desires with someone who can meet your needs," she says, deep in thought.
"It would be," I respond with a chuckle.
"I know," she gives me a sympathetic half-smile, "I'll catch you later sugar!" She sings blowing me a kiss, I laugh and catch it.
Tomorrow is gonna be so hectic, we have a lot of respected doms coming in, a lot of special scenes tomorrow, and Mr.Blackwell. There was a small part of me that hoped that among the crowds tomorrow, someone might sway my opinion. As I walked to my car, I could feel the coldness of the night and my breath formed a cloud-shaped trail behind me. I then drove to my apartment, which is only 5 miles away from work. I chose this apartment for this exact reason.
The crisp air brushed my face gently as I rolled my window down slightly. I enjoyed the light buzz of the city around me, but it was pretty still at this hour, there only being bars and clubs around, thumping of music was about all you heard. I got home and I walked into my warm apartment, taking off my coat and scarf, the smell of apple spice hitting my nose, I loved the scent, it truly was everlasting. Slipping into my bathroom and out of my clothes I ran a bath, tossed in a lavender bath bomb, and slid inside, I moaned as the warmth started soothing my aching body that had been in motion all day. I submerged most of my face underwater and listened to the still. My thoughts drifted to what tomorrow would hold, anxiety peeking inside the curtain in my mind, what if I did find a Dom, what would be next in my life?
YOU ARE READING
Exultation (18+)
General Fiction"This room is going to be your most pleasurable days, and your most painful. I'm going to pleasure you to the point you can't handle it, till the point you're screaming and lose your voice. I'm going to hurt you in the most delectable ways, that mak...
