I Cherish You

Chapter 1

This story is fiction, but it will take place along the current Tronnor narrative. So it will incorporate all Tronnor events starting from Connor's flight to Sydney, but I'll add things to make it more dramatic or exciting. Please do not take anything I've said as fact. 

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“Con?” Troye raised his eyebrows.

“Sorry, what?”

Connor had drifted off sometime while Troye was talking about his new music. It sounded amazing but Connor was jetlagged and drunk from the flight. He was still taking in his surroundings. Hi Sydney. It was insane. He was insane. Had he really just taken a 14-hour flight to Australia to see Troye? Did anyone believe him when he said that he had just wanted to visit Australia for a long time? Did he even believe it himself?

            “That one’s my favorite. I wasn’t sure I could pull off yodeling, but I practiced while listening to the Sound of Music over and over to get that convincing shepherd girl tone-“

            “What.”

            “I mean you flew all the way here because you just can’t stand to be without me and now you’re zoning off every other minute.” He said it in a bemused, joking voice, but with a hint of concern.

            “I’m sorry I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” he didn’t meet Troye’s gaze, because he knew one glance into the younger boy’s doe eyes would have him baring his soul in seconds, and he was too worried about what he might say.

            “Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. Are you okay? Your twitter makes it seem like you’re going through some stuff, you won’t Skype anyone, you text back one word answers to everyone, and now I hear you and Ty are fighting and he won’t tell me what’s going on but no one seems to know and I’ve been really worried and you’re just one of my best friends and I don’t what I would do if anything happened to you or why you’re cutting everyone off and I-I just-“ a tear rolled down past the Aussie’s quivering lips, and something broke inside Connor.

            “Troye, god, no. . . . I don’t know what to say. I didn’t realize what it looked like.” but Connor did.

It looked like 3 months ago, when Tyler and Troye found him huddled in a corner, where he’d been for hours, slowly succumbing to the effects of taking more than the prescribed dosage. After he told them both he was fine, just tired, and wanted to take a nap. After he’d spent weeks retreating from his friends and family, putting on a mask that slowly developed more and more cracks in its surface, fissures and fault lines that he desperately tried to patch. After he’d spent hours in the hospital getting his stomach pumped and denying the need for a mental evaluation. After he saw Troye, then Tyler, break down in the hallway and felt so much worse than he had before.

“It’s not that.” months later, he still wouldn’t talk about, wouldn’t name his demons.

“Then what is it?”

“I’ve been doing some introspection. There’s some stuff about myself that I just need to come to terms with. It’s not a bad thing, really.”

“Ok.” It wasn’t a satisfactory answer, but Troye didn’t want to fight, so they spent the ride to the hotel in silence. Connor was staying in Troye’s room, since the label gave him a suite with two beds anyway.

“Are you hungry?” Troye asked after they’d gotten Connor settled in “There’s this burger place a few blocks from here I’ve been meaning to try.”

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They stayed there for hours, eventually closing the place down. Neither one willing to stop talking, stop laughing, or so much as look away from the other. They looked to most of the other patrons like an infatuated couple, young love. They would talk about anything: youtube, cats, burger toppings, almost just to hear the other’s voice. Connor felt peaceful. He was pretty sure that he could be happy just sitting there with Troye forever.

What he didn’t know was that Troye hadn’t been this animated in weeks. All he’d done was miss Connor and write music, which had the uncomfortable side effect of forcing Troye to spend hours rewriting his songs until they no longer screamed “I love Connor Franta”. It was hopeless though, he knew Connor thought he still had a puppydog crush on Tyler. There was also the small problem of him not even being gay. But Troye could hope, and revel in his presence and pretend, just for a moment, that they were the cute couple everyone assumed they were.

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.