I Cherish You

Chapter 4

        “Do you plan on posting artsy latte pictures every morning until you leave?” Troye chuckled and reached for the sugar.

        Connor grimaced at the thought of having to board a plane back to LA. Sure, they’d see each other in New York in November for the Playlist Kick-off, but Connor had already demonstrated an inability to handle a few weeks without Troye.

        “Do you plan on putting a disgusting amount of sugar in your coffee every morning until I leave? Lattes are like half milk anyway.”

        “Not everyone has built up an insane tolerance for coffee.” He fake pouted and stirred the small islands of sugar. “When is your flight back anyway?”

        “Soon.” Connor looked down.

        They both knew “soon” was Connor’s way of saying he planned on doing something but had no actual idea when it would be done. It wasn’t that Troye wanted him to actually leave, but if Connor stayed much longer, people would talk, and he didn’t know how either of them felt about that.

        His thoughts were quickly interrupted by their waitress, who informed them that the elderly couple in the corner had paid for their drinks because they were “such an adorable couple”. This time it was Troye who had to avoid Connor’s gaze. He didn’t want to have to talk about it: how they’d stopped correcting people who mistook them for a couple, how they’d held hands on the boardwalk, how one bed in their room had never been slept in, how quickly they had jumped away from each other when Bethany walked into the room, like they had something to hide. Troye knew if they discussed it, the bubble would burst and Connor would never want to speak to him again. So Troye just did what he’d been doing since San Francisco, reminding himself of that terrible night in the hospital, because he would do anything to avoid being on the verge of losing Connor ever again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

            “Is he okay?” Tyler looked up at Troye with bloodshot eyes.

            “The doctor said he’s gonna be alright. Tyler, why didn’t we notice what he was going through? He could have fucking died if I hadn’t left my coat in his room. How could he not have told us?”

            Tyler sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “I don’t know. I don’t what I’m supposed to say to him. What if he’s mad at us for calling an ambulance at all?” he sounded like he was on the verge of tears, “I can’t handle this Troye. He’s the last person I ever thought would do this.” This was the closest Tyler had ever come to breaking down before.

            Troye paced up and down the halls. He hadn’t even really forgotten his coat. He just wanted to see Connor and try and convince him to go out with them. They were supposed to go to a club, because Troye wanted to have something to drink if he was going to tell Connor-

            “Mr. Oakley and Mr. Sivan?” a nurse in teal scrubs called out, “Mr. Franta would like to see you in his room. Follow me.”

            It wasn’t the time, and it was never going to be. Troye thought it was worth risking their friendship for a chance at something more, but he was wrong. He was never going to even consider gambling their relationship again. It was a mistake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

            “Tilt your head back just a bit.” Connor was standing a few meters back, trying to catch the light as it hit the overgrown stairway Troye was sitting on.

            “Are you sure my hair doesn’t look bad?”

            Connor had convinced him to style his hair down. Troye was hesitant. He usually went with standard Youtuber quiff, but Connor said please and told him he looked cute.

            “Did you get it?”

            Connor just stared for a minute before responding. Troye looked amazing. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed, allowing a few stray curls to brush against his forehead. Connor didn’t even understand how a person could be so photogenic. Troye walked over with a questioning look, but Connor stopped him before he could say anything.

            “Let’s get mine in front of that cool garage. I love the artwork.”

            Troye agreed and hurried over. He would never tell Connor that he wasn’t actually a terrible cameraman, despite it taking an hour to get two shots of him. It was just too hard to not let his hands shake when he noticed Connor outshining even the most gorgeous scenery.

It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.