Jurisdiction • Nasnika

XVIII.

O'sane in multimedia

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O'sane,

For a minute my body wouldn't move itself. I tried repeatedly, but my body was staying put, like I was paralyzed, but I'm not so why can I not leave this parking lot?

The roar of the crowd inside of the auditorium passed my ears swiftly. At this very moment one of those cheers were suppose to be me. Instead I was here in my car trying to build up the courage to go face the man that wants me dead. Nothing could really prepare you for shit like this, but I was raised to not sit back and wait for it to hit you; you jump in and learn it for yourself.

When Messiah came over to my crib and told me everything on what Jaydon was schemeing, I had to think up a plan of my own quick and fast. Onika had gotten a gun once she started selling her own product, but never used it. Nicki has never shot anyone or plans on it. For her, the gun is a scare tactic.

That's what I hoping to do: scare Jaydon into thinking I would kill him or worse snitch to the feds if he didn't leave me and Messiah alone. We have lives to live and how could we possibly do it happily with him still carrying a revenge over our head.

After graduation I planned on following Gabriela to whatever city she's going to and starting a life there. Yeah, I may have not gotten accepted to any colleges, but that did not mean my life was over because of rejection letters. Gabriela still wanted to be with me and that's all that mattered.

I plan on marrying Gabrilea one day. Today was actually suppose to be the day I propose. While everyone is throwing their caps up into the air and celebrating their freedom, I would get on one knee and tell her how much I loved her and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life being tied down to her. Instead of all that I have to meet up with this bitch ass nigga because he didn't know how to stop sending weak ass threats my way like I wasn't about that action.

I'm tired of everyone looking at me as some young naive kid. For a while now I been handling shit by myself and ain't shed a single tear about my failures and setbacks. If you ask me, I'm more of a man than most of these niggas walking the streets.

I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't nervous to go over here alone. My fingers tapped along to the song playing on the radio as I tried to take my mind away from the fact that I may have to kill someone or worse yet be killed myself.

Through all of this though, Messiah has had my back one hundred percent. We have always been there for another since third grade and it was crazy how we went from playing basketball with each other to selling dope together. Whatever shit it was that one of us were going through, you could count on us being there for each other. Fuck being best friends, we're brothers.

Growing up I wanted a brother. Not saying that having an older sister was completely horrible, but I wanted male role models. When me and Onika moved on our own there was no guys or cousins that helped us. Nicki made shit work whatever way she did where that meant selling drugs or whatever else she claims she had to do in order for us to get by.

Don't get my wrong we had help. Kendra, being Onika's best friend since God knows how long, helped out in any way she could so that Nicki didn't have a lot oj her shoulders. However though, my sister always had stuff that she was going through on her shoulders, she just never told because her and I both know that if anybody is stressing her out then its gonna' be trouble.

That's why I love my sister so much the way I do. She has played the role of every person that was suppose to be in my life wrapped up in one. She was a mom when it was time for her to be caring and naturing, a father when I showed intrest in a million different sports, a best friend when I needed someone to talk to, and of course my sister when we both just needed a second to sit back, have fun and see how grateful we were that we had one another.