Is This Lust ? .....( COMPLETED )

Confusion..... I have no control over

Plan Pov

The next day was hectic. We got up early, had breakfast and got ready to go back. In the plane I sat near Title and Perth. It looked like nothing happened between Mean and me as he looked very calm.  He was sitting with his manager and Gun. He kept talking and cracking jokes. All those sitting near Mean were enjoying. After some  time he put on his AirPods and closed his eyes.

I was caught unaware when Title asked me what I was looking at and if I am planning to confess my feelings to Mean. It was this funny situation were your friends knew you more than you knew yourself.

Whatever happened last night meant nothing I told myself. I was horny and Mean just became the target. There is nothing more to it. And we cannot afford any of this to repeat as it may spoil our friendship. Anyway working with him would be over soon. There was just one LBC fan meeting remaining and then I am on my own. After that there was no Mean to fall upon. Whether we would remain friends was also a big question with the amount of work Mean was doing which kept him busy throughout the week.

What do I do if I feel what I felt yesterday again. It was very new for me. I never felt so much out of control adding to which was that Mean didnt shrug it away. He was there all through it with me, willingly.

Should I find a partner. A steady girlfriend. Should I fall in love. Was this something one does with so much planning.  I believed in love. I didn't know what it meant or how to find it but I wanted to fall in love with the person I wanted to spend my life with. I wasn't ready to do window shopping in this respect.  I was not ready for a relationship. I wanted to concentrate on work and focus on having a stable earning. And above all I wanted to fall in love naturally and experience every bit of joy I had heard it brings along with it.

A week had passed and I had no contact with Mean. Suddenly today I received a copy of his schedule. I stared at the schedule. I didn't know how to react.

He was so busy. He had lots of work. Didn't it affect his health? As I was going through his schedule I realized that Mean would be there at the same event I was. We both were representing our companies so we would obviously not get to be with each other. It was to bring awareness on Voting. 

My thoughts started wandering through the day.  My thoughts which had only one person in it.  One more LBC fan meeting and we would may be never see or talk to each other.

I reached home, freshened up and had dinner. After that I went straight to bed. I had left the mobile in the room.  I had received a message from Mean saying he wanted to do a video call and I should lock the bedroom door and have my earphone on.  I sent him a message that I was free and he could call me in 15 minutes. I ran and took an off shoulder t-shirt and wore it. I set my hair the way he liked it. I wore my specs as he always said I look sexy in it.

Means pov

I wanted to see Plan and talk to him.  May be about what happened the other night. We at least needed a closure. Closure on what happened between us. He was a close friend.  We knew each other since long and were together through all the important phases in our life. I didn't love him. What happened between us was a huge mistake. But we need to be there in each others life. We can't let this awkwardness continue.