23【WHEN DOES IT END?】

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[Jisoo's POV]

I heard my doorbell ringing, but I was terrified to answer. The last time someone was at my door, I was brutally raped and beaten. I sat up in my bed, put my face in my knees and drew them up to my chest. I cried silently, praying that the person on the other side of the door wasn't Irene.

I just wanted to tell the person to go away. But he or she wouldn't leave. They just kept ringing the bell and, finally, began knocking loudly.

"Jisoo... open the door, please. I just want to see you....Please!... PLEASE CHU... OPEN THE DOOR." That's... Jennie. What is she doing here? Is she here to rape me, too? Oh God, what if Irene told her and she's come to get her shot too?

No, Chu, don't you dare think like that. Jen would never do something like that. She may have done you wrong, but that, she would never do. Jennie would never hurt me in that way. But I never thought she would cheat on me, either.

I was definitely wrong about that.

She must have known I was home because my car was outside. Why didn't I park inside the garage?

Should I answer her? Should I let Jennie in?

No, I can't. Not now. I don't want to see anyone. She needs to go home.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I never even noticed that I had limped my way to the front door and had my hand on the doorknob.

Subconsciously wanting to have her hold me and take away my fears like she used to.

But I came out of my stupor and snatched my hand away before I opened it and let my biggest betrayer in. Jennie was the person I loved most, ever. But then she betrayed me. As much as I wanted her to hold and protect me, I couldn't forgive her. I needed her to go away.

"P-Please, Jen, not n-now." I just wanted her to go away and leave me alone. She can't see me like this. She'll be disgusted in me.

"Chu, are you okay? You don't sound right... Please, Chu, let me in."

Should I? I thought. I could hear the concern in her voice and she called me Chu. I've always loved how "Chu" sounded coming from her lips. So soft, so honeyed. Oh God, how badly I want to be in her arms. I miss her so much and, right now, I need her more than ever.

But now, she wouldn't want me. I felt like a filthy whore that didn't deserve her love or concern. Jennie could never love someone like me ever again, not a selfish and dirty person like me. I just wanted to curl up and cry out all the pain, because I was the one who started all of this.

I was so selfish back then, I didn't give Irene a second chance like she wanted. And look what she became. A selfish bastard that takes what she wants and minipulates people at her will. I made her into that. I made her into me. I deserved to be raped and beaten.

Jennie wouldn't want me back. I'm worthless. No, I can't let him in. "P-please Jen, not n-now."

I was constantly battling with myself in my head. I felf as if I was going crazy.

I felt the doorknob jiggle and panicked. I could hear her calling me again from the other side of the door more frantically, her voice rising in volume. I wanted to tell her that she would hate me. That I would hate myself when I saw the disgusted look in her eyes. So, I said, "J-Jennie, pl-please, come back l-later."

I said as I slide down to the floor, resting my back on the door. I wasn't even thinking straight.

Jennie replied almost right away, "I'll come back tomorrow then. Is that ok with you?" She called through the door. I really didn't want to see her tomorrow, either, but if I said 'no' she wouldn't leave. I knew her better than that.

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