Be My Wings {drarry}

Chapter Eleven

Wednesday 2 September 1998

Draco

As soon as they break for lunch, I turn to Blaise.

"Can I go back to my dorm please?" Blaise  frowns.

"I don't want you to be alone." I don't like making him upset, and I want to obey him. But being here, surrounded by people staring at me and mumbling about me is stifling. I can't stand being here a moment longer.

"Please, I can't be here... there's too many people, I can't, please Blaise..." He doesn't look happy, and it makes me feel slightly sick. But he nods, and as soon as he does I leave, practically running out of the hall.

I make my way as quickly as possible to the Slytherin common room. No one's in there; everyone's just leaving class for lunch; so there's no one to see me starting to break down. And honestly, thank Merlin for that. I don't need people thinking worse of me than they already do.

I can feel you getting more and more unstable too, which makes me feel even worse. Your emotions only add to mine, and make me feel guilty. If you were someone else's Veela...

No, Draco, no, no.

You're obviously too upset for cohesive thoughts, but I get the message, even if I don't agree with you.

Need... need mate. Want them here, please, find them, hurts...

And it does hurt. It's always there, at the back of my mind. A dull ache that has definitely got worse since my inheritance, but so slowly I hadn't noticed it until now. I do want my mate. I really, really do. But I can't have them, and it breaks my heart.

You whine, but don't comment.

I stumble up the stairs to the dormitories, and by the time I fall (rather ungracefully) into my bed, tears are falling down my cheeks and choked sobs are working their way out of my mouth. I clutch my pillow to my face, and I inexplicably wish it smelled like my mate.

I try to breathe, but the air feels like it's cut off from my lungs, which are burning. I know I'm panicking, but I can't stop, because the word sub is echoing around my head again, and everyone knows. And based off the firsties' reactions, it won't be taken well. I'll be pushed around and called names, and everyone will hate me, including my mate. Fuck, when they find out who I am...

The door opens, and Blaise's scent fills the room; the overpowering scent of a dominant. My head snaps up of its own accord, and my body works its way into a submissive position.

"Draco..." he says, his voice full of pity. I hate it. I don't know what I want, but it isn't his comfort. That's for my mate to give me. I try to push the thought from my head. I don't need my mate. But nevertheless, I don't want Blaise to try to comfort me. And even if I don't know what I do want, he seems to.

"Sub," he growls, and I whimper in response. I realise it isn't him anymore; he gave his Veela control. "Come." I scramble towards him and sit at his feet. "Good sub." He begins to pet me, stroking my hair, and I chirp subconsciously. "Breathe, sub." At his order, I find myself able to take the deep breath I had been trying to take before. "Good, now relax." I let the tension leave my shoulders. "Look at me." He lifts my chin, and I let my eyes drift to his. "Tell me what's wrong." The words fall out of my mouth before I even understand his order.

"Everyone knows."

"That you're a sub?" I nod. "Why does that upset you?"

"They... they'll judge me, like the first years, and everyone h-hates m-me bec-cause I was a d-death eater... no one was mean b-because they were scared of m-me, b-but now... now I'm pathetic."