Rather Ruthless

Chapter Twenty Four

Kaia watched him carefully, understanding what had prompted him to push her away. Her entire life would never compare to his and in a way she was naïve about the dangers of life, especially his world. He wanted her to be a part of his life, and that was a nice thought. However, she had began to build herself up and sure, she wasn't all the way there yet but if she gave him another chance and he realized he didn't want to be with her, she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with that.

"Thank you for telling me this, Trystan. I know it was hard for you to do. Your past was terrible but it made you the man I know now. You are incredible and you've made yourself someone you should be proud of."

"No, the things I've done and the road I've taken are nothing to be proud of. I've made horrible mistakes and many times, I've let revenge blind me. I don't deserve you. You're sweet, caring and intelligent. You have your whole life ahead of you but I'm selfish enough to want to be a part of it." He declared intensely, making tears fill her eyes.

"After the death of my parents, I didn't know who I was. I promised myself that I would live for them and that I would make something of myself so I could make them proud. But after you hurt me, I lost track of that. I hated myself and I didn't think I was enough. My self esteem was shot down but even through that I knew if you had come back to me in the first two weeks, I would have forgiven you." She watched his eyes fill with regret and shook her head.

"Kaia, I am really sorry I hurt you so badly. I honestly thought it would be best."

"I know you did. Everyone around always seems to believe that I didn't know what was good for me. Growing up, I let everyone else decide what I had to do with my life. I thought that was best. I let my aunt and even you decide what my life would be and looking back, I realize how spineless I have been. I thought I was done but today taught me that I'm still letting people decide for me. No one is listening to what I want or what I don't want." She paused, taking a deep breath as she decided. She didn't realize that the pause mad him scared that she would decide to stay away from him.

"Are you sure you love me as much as you say you do?" She asked him earnestly.

"Yes," he answered without delay.

"And what if you fall out of love with me?" 

"I don't think I can do that, Kaia." He smiled devotedly, making her smile back at him.

This was a man who could have any woman he wanted telling her that he was in love with her. It was a giddy feeling but it didn't make anything easier. She had felt so lost after he had hurt her and she had made a promise to think before jumping but who was she kidding, she was in love with him and that was what mattered.

She knew she was indecisive especially when it came to love but this time she was jumping in. She would probably regret it but who cared. The past few weeks had been painful and imagining the rest of her without him was too much to bear so maybe she was stupid. Maybe she was letting her emotions cloud her judgement but there had been many like her and there would be many like her. Love made you stupid and it destroyed the image of yourself that you had built. She would give them a chance to see if they would make it. 

"Then I want you to promise me that if one day, you fall out of love with me that you'll tell me. I will not be hurt by you again." 

He gasped slightly at her words, hope filling him as he realized what she meant.

"I promise you." He avowed.

"I am also not going to be the same person that was on the island with you so we're going to take things slow. We'll start over, go on dates, learn things about ourselves and explore our feelings. We will also take time to focus on ourselves because I don't want to be consumed by each other." She held his hand and smiled.

"One more thing." She added. "I want to learn how to protect myself. If I'm going to be a part of your world, I don't want to rely only on you to protect me. I want to fight for myself."

He nodded at her, to which she stood, pulling him up with her.

"Then Trystan, I love you too. I want to be a part of your life. I want to share my days with you and I want you to hold me constantly. I want to be with you for as long as I can."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly, his arms wrapping around her and holding her tightly like he was afraid to let go.

"I won't let you regret choosing me." He whispered against her lips. "I will protect and love you with all of my heart."

"I know it is not going to be all rosy and I know I'll have to watch you deal with your past but this is my life now and I want to be by your side through the hard days. There's so much we have to learn from each other and I can't wait to see what we make. I survived some part of your world and I will survive the rest of it." She affirmed with her hand on his chest.

He looked at her in a mix of awe and love that he let show through his eyes and his expression. 

Then he kissed her again, letting his mouth show her how much he loved her.

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This is it. Wow, I'm actually surprised I ended this and kind of relieved. Thank you all for your love and support.  Not sure how the ending makes me feel but I'm not going to overthink it. Writing is hard and the fact that I actually finished this is insane. 

However, it has been amazing and I am forever grateful for how incredible you all are. As for writing again, I've been thinking about it but I don't think I will write a full length story for a while. Maybe I'll take some time off and figure it all out.