Beautiful Boy ➶ l.s

18- Moments

{ ANNOUNCEMENT! ever since writing this book, I never thought it'd get one hundred reads even. But wow, now it's 3K! that's an improvement right? so, after thinking about the whole thing, I decided to DEDICATE THE BOOK to the most two awesome readers. I'll still dedicate a few chapters to some though :) thanks guys, 'cause without you this book wouldn't have been a good one :) @Larry_It_Gets_Better & @larrybaexx 🙈💕 }

( listen to moments *by our boys* if you wanna cry some more? )

-

Tick tock, goes the clock.

Tick tock, it'll never stop.

It freaking ticks and freaking tock's

It's making me insane and won't go away

When would the tick ticking stop?

Maybe if I killed myself?

Fucking tick, fucking tock

Maybe then my heart will stop..

-

"What do you mean?" Valerie's worried voice filled my ears as my announcement have been told.

"I mean that I can't continue to write these- these silly letters to someone who've left and won't ever read those" I spoke again, my throat suddenly went dry as Valerie's frown was evident.

"Haven't they helped? At all?" She asked, and the question pretty much got me at that. Did it help? I suppose, but after a while it seemed like.. A waste of time and tears.

"They did help at the start, but after a while, I couldn't continue writing them. It's like I'm writing to someone I never met or won't ever read them. It's... I'm sorry to say this but it's pretty much a waste of time.." I concluded, her frown only twitched deeper as a sigh escaped her lips, skipping through the pages of the letters that I've wrote.

"So, you saying you're ready to forget?" She asks in that same worried tone, and I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I'm ready, I told myself. I have to do this.

"I am" I responded, teeth clicking in fear as my gaze was focused on my trembling hands. This is it.

"Okay then, first thing first.." And with that, I knew I have to forget him. To erase his memory, to avoid those wonderful moments together and the smiles we shared. I have to forget them all, 'cause there's no place in my heart for memories about an old love. A love that's fading away.

-

"So, what you're saying is...?" I spoke, my mind a bit dizzy as I took all the information he've said.

"You haven't killed yourself. Someone else shot you. That's why you're somewhere between afterlife and heaven.." He audibly spoke, a smile on his lips as he flipped through a book.

"Afterlife and heaven? If I haven't killed myself then who did? Huh?" I ask, quite confused, my hands were a tad bit sweaty.

"We call the dead people between afterlife and heaven 'Denials'. Denials usually live on earth, but they can't be seen. It isn't afterlife because you can't see other dead people in the same form as you, and it isn't heaven because heaven isn't on earth, now is it?" He spoke, still flipping through the white pages as my eyebrows furrowed, confusion eating me alive.

"Fancy more explanation?" I asked crossing my arms on my chest as a sigh left his lips, his eyes locking with mine.

"Denials are stages and forms where they exist but don't really exist. This is a very delicate subject, probably because Denials are an extremely rare kind of dead people. Now, Denials have the ability of living on earth but their invisibility have to be clear. Nobody can know about them, only their secret guard" He explained, answering some of my questions but some are still there. I then nodded, happy because I haven't committed suicide, but angry at the person who've killed me and took away my life for granted.