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"Sandra, I am so sorry. I thought you were Rachel, and we just weren't ready for you yet."
"You thought I was Rachel?"
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"So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. And since it's Rachel's birthday, and we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon." Monica clapped her hands in excitement, but the rest of us groaned. "What?"
"Question: why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?" Ross asked her.
"You want to be in charge of the food committee?" Monica raised an eyebrow at her brother.
"Okay, question two: why do we always have to have parties with committees?" He inquired.
"Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and beers and have fun?" Joey suggested. Meanwhile, he kept running his hand up my thigh no matter how many times I brushed him off.
"I agree. You know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside, and I'm just not sure we are." Phoebe thought out loud.
"Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special. Fine. We can throw any kind of party you want." Monica shrugged her shoulders. "Chandler, they're not real." She said, referring to her boobs.
"Huh? What?" Chandler seemed to have finally woken up from his daydream.
"I start miles beneath the surface of these things, okay? They're fake." She clarified for him. "See, honk, honk." She squeezed one of the boobs.
"Wow...it's like porno for clowns." Chandler joked. The next day, we were sitting around Central Perk, talking about the logistics of the party.
"Neither of Rachel's sisters can come." Ross hummed sadly.
"So I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper." Monica looked down at her list.
"Woah, woah, woah. Uh...no Shannon Cooper." Joey shook his head.
"Oh, why not her?" The five of us looked over at him.
"'Cause she, uh...she steals stuff." Joey quickly made up, sending me an apologetic look. I can't blame him for his past. Hell, I've known about his past for a long time.
"Or, you know, maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey actually slept with her and never called her back." Chandler exposed his roommate.
"That's horrible, Joey." Monica and Phoebe shook their heads disapprovingly.
"But, you know, you haven't brought any girls back to the apartment late in the night." Chandler glanced over at him. "You know what? You haven't been flirting with strangers or anything. What is the matter with you?"
