Saving The Bad Boy

You Don't Love Me Enough

- ( S I X T E E N ) -

Ryder's POV

"Are you sure you feel okay? Nothing hurts? Your head still looks pretty bad. Maybe I should cal Dr-" Izzy rambled on and on, hovering over me like an over protective mother.

"Izzy, I'm fine. I promise. All I want to do right now is eat some popcorn and watch this movie." I told her, huffing from frustration. Believe me, I really appreciated her concern and staying over to watch me. But, after awhile, it became suffocating.

"I was just making sure..." She mumbled, standing up to take the dirty dishes. Sighing, I leaned up and pulled her back by her hand.

"I know, I'm sorry. Just lay down with me... please." Izzy nodded her head and put the dishes down on the bedside table. She carefully laid down besides me on the bed, extra cautious not to touch the large hash on my stomach. When I was flipped over on the car back at the race, I blacked out. I don't really remember anything except for being upside down for two seconds.

Luckily, the only thing I got from that was a really big cut on my side and three stitches near my eye. Izzy was really pissed with me. Well, only after she hugged me and gave me kisses all over my face. You should have seen the lecture I got from my mother when she picked us up from the hospital. I told her I was just messing around with friends in a parking lot. She was really mad at me when she saw Izzy there. She thought I was driving around with her in the car. My mom has never really met Izzy before yet she already cares about her more than me. Not sure if I should be relieved or hurt. Either way, she grounded me for two months. Like that would stop me from getting out the house once this cut starts to stop hurting every time I move.

"I was so scared." Izzy whispered in to my chest, pulling my attention away from the movie. Her eyes were watery, kinda like they were back at the hospital.

"I know, baby." I said, kissing the top of her head as I ran a hand up and down her back. She pushed up on her arm to sit up over me.

"Promise me you'll never do something like that again." Her blue eyes stared in to my brown ones with so much intensity. It was mixed with so much determination and hopefulness that it made me feel guilty.

"You know I can't promise you that, Izzy. I have to do this for Andrea-"

"Screw Andrea!" She suddenly yelled angrily, standing up from my bed to stand in the middle of my room. I sat up, knowing this was going to be a very serious conversation. I hated seeing Izzy so upset, I loved her. As cheesy as that sounds. "I love Andrea, she's like family. But this is crazy. You almost got killed just trying to fix her mess! Where is she in all this? This is not your problem Ryder, this is her's. She could at least help you out."

"It is my mess! She's our friend. And if you really cared about her, you'd see it the same way I did!" I didn't mean to raise my voice. It just happened. I didn't even realize I was standing in her face when I did it. My chest huffed up and down angrily as I stepped back and dragged my face down.

"Whats wrong with you? I know I'm not crazy. Andrea will just have to find another way. Ryder, this is real life. You will die and not come back if you mess up. This is not some stupid game." She tried to tell explain to me, only making me more frustrated.

"Then I guess I will just have to be more careful next time." The look in Izzy's eyes when I said this made my heart clench tightly. It physically hurt seeing the disappointment in her eyes.

"You care about her, don't you?" She asked me, her voice cracking in the middle as she looked down at the carpet.

"Of course I care about her. She's my-"

"Not like that! You know I don't mean it like that." She snapped, her eyes becoming as red as her nose. Tears threatened to spill as she looked at me with so much anger.

"What are you talking about? I told you already, I don't see her that way!" I groaned in frustration, hoping my mother wouldn't come home now. She went to the store for some pain killers on a late night run.

"I'm not stupid, Ryder. You may not know it, but I do. You care about her as more than a friend. Admit it already." Izzy demanded, wiping the fallen tear drop that fell down her cheek.

Did I like Andrea? I mean, I've already thought of her as a close friend. But what kinda of friend did all this to get her out of some dangerous shit. I don't know about you, but I don't know any one who'd get them self's involved with a gangster. "I-I don't know what I feel about her. But I do know I love you. I love you so much. More than anyone else I have ever known." I said, walking over to grab her hands in mine. Izzy broke down in to sobs as I said this, making it feel like I was getting my heart torn out.

"Clearly, you don't love me enough." She finally said, pushing me away from her. She might as well have stabbed me because... ouch. "I'm not going to be with you when you still might like someone else. It's either just me, and only me. Or we are done. So what is it?"

I felt like a fool standing there and gaping at her. Deep inside I knew my answer. Yet, I stood there like an idiot opening and closing my mouth. She scoffed, brushing her hair back. "Okay, well I've got to go home. Don't bother calling me tomorrow." It was like, the moments she started pulling her shoes on I snapped back in to reality.

"What? No, don't go. You can't." I quickly told her, pulling her shoe out of her hand. She groaned, standing up to glare at me. "We aren't done here. You can't just leave when things start getting hard!"

(A/N: that's what she said 😏)

"I bet that's what you think I'm doing with Andrea, huh? Well I'm not! I'm just smart enough to leave before things get bad!" She yelled at me, snatching her shoe back. "I'm not going to be waiting around forever, Ryder."

Izzy tried to leave but I jumped in front of the door and slammed it closed with my back. "No! You can't leave me! I love you!" My voice was frantic, my eyes were blurry, and my judgement probably was just as foggy.

"And I love you! But you don't love me enough. Because if you did, you'd stop with this whole mess!" She yelled, slamming me against the wall harshly. I gaped at her, feeling the heavy silence fall over us. She gasped, covering her mouth with her shaky hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But I need to leave now."

"No. Sit down. Now." I ordered her, watching as her eyes widened in shock. "Now, Izzy. Before I make you."

"You won't touch me. Now get out of my way- Ryder! Let go!" Izzy screamed and punched me as I dragged her to the bed and pushed her down. "Don't touch me! Get off! Get off!" She cried, kicking and screaming as I held her down on the mattress. I didn't realize how this looked. How this seemed to her.

My hands flew off her like I had touched a burning iron. I made sure to step back as she quickly scooted away in to the corner in fear. "Izzy, I would never... you know that, right?" Her hair was messy and her eyes were puffy with hot tears. She wiped her hand under her nose and sniffled.

"Just let me go home, Ryder. I'm tired. This is too much for me." She hiccuped, holding herself tightly. I was angry. Not at her, but at myself. I'd practically just turned this whole relationship in to an abusive one. If there was even a relationship left in the first place.

"Let me at least drive you home." It was like twelve in the morning. Plus, she lived too far to be walking.

"Fine. Let's just go." She whispered, walking out my room with out me. I groaned, closing my eyes tightly as I punched the wall from anger. I had just gotten her back and she was already leaving me again. How did I seem to fuck up everything good in my life?