my brothers best friend

Few weeks later

Jack had kept checking in on me. So did, Dani, Jonah, Zach and Corbyn. Every few hours one of them would text me. This is only because i keep getting worked up. Well today was my first therapy session. I had to cancel the others due to not wanting to go. But today, i want to. I had no one to drive me. I sat on my sofa and pondered for a little bit. I then felt a vibration from my phone. i got it out and Corbyn was ringing me. 'Hey, you good?' he asked. 'Uh..yeh, why you ringing me? you could of texted me.' I was confused. i heard his cute little laugh through the phone, 'Well christina didn't want you to walk to therapy as Jack was talking about it in front of her and demanded i take you and collect you. Jack's kind of busy otherwise he'd do it. Sorry kiddo. Anyways i'm outside' i end the call. Grab by cute little shoulder bag and rush outside. Our door automatically locks from the outside. I walk to his black mercedes benz.

'wow, nice whip.' i smirk. He frowns at me. 'what's that face for?' i querie. 'I have to get rid of it as Chris doesnt think it's suitable.' I laugh at him thinking he's joking. but he wasnt. 'Your letting her dictate what you can and can't have? wow.' I look at him. he looks puzzled. I looked out my window. 'Zach and Daniel said hi' he smiles at me. I love his smile. His gorgeously white teeth, his just right rosy lips they all just make his smile perfect. I need to stop thinking of him like this. It's becoming worrying. He's in a relationship for a start (even if the girl is a bitch) and well he's my brothers best friend.

We arrive at the clinic. I stare at it. 'hey, you've got this' he places his masively big hand on my knee. I look at it and i place my hand on top. 'yeh you're right.' i open the car door. I take a deeo breathe and mutter things to myself. I do not need to panic. 'hey, Lyssie. I'll be out here the whole time.' I smile and nod as i walk into the building. The lady at the desk recognises me. 'Oh my gosh, Alyssa avery' I beam at her. 'Caroline!' she pulls me into a hug. 'You look great. How are you coping?' she says dragging me to a chair. The chairs in the waiting room were uncomfortable and looked hideous. The walls were a light blue but needed a repaint as there was dark splodges of dirt on them. the chair began itching my leg. I look back at caroline who i completely ignored, 'Oh..uh sorry. I've been good. I havent felt an urge but that might just because i havent really been around anyone who does drugs.' I smile nervously. She baffles on about drugs and taking care of myself and i zone out. Until, 'Alyssa darling, c'mon through.' I hug caroline one last time before walking through the same corridor i left from. it wa dingey. I walked past the room where i got a visit from Jack for the first time. I get directed into a room. It was just me and Michelle today. I look around, this room was different. I turn my back and look behind me theres a taperstry up. It looks so pretty. That was what was new. 'is everything ok?' Michelle asks. I look at her and nod, 'yeh just admiring your taperstry.' I smile and she smiles back.

We talk about a lot of things. I told her about my break downs and my times of lonliness. She listened and told me about other recovering addicts had. It was half hour or so left of the session. I sat quietly. i didn't know what to say i thought i had said everything. 'Alyssa, you havent brought anything up about your cravings?' I looked at her blankly. She waved a hand infront of me. 'If i'm honest, i hadn't gave them much thought. No one i know or hang out with does drugs anymore. I'm just never around them to crave them.' she nods and write something down then she stands up and prances towards her cupboard of things. 'Alyssa, in here. Is a box of MDMA.' My head shoots up at her. I couldn't believe she was telling me this. 'I'm going to get it out and put it on the table infront of you and i want you to tell me your thoughts aloud.' I nod slowly, why did i agree to this.

She places the mdma on the table. The pink skull printed pill was sat in front of me. In a seely bag. I sat there, my eyes pinned to it. 'Alyssa...' Michelle said, she looked worried. 'I- i uh, my thoughts are mental. almost angel, devil like. One sides telling me to take it, give in. The others telling me im stronger than that.' i blurted out. I couldn't take it. But just imagine the feeling of numbness, no feeling in the world your just content. I shake my head. 'Take it away from me!' The voice i was hearing wasnt any old voice, it was jason's. Michelle takes the packet away. I sit there silently. Michelle is eyeing me up. 'I-i just got this feeling almost as if i'd grab it and chuck it down my throat. just to stop the pain' Michelle sits by and touches my hand, 'Everyone feels like that. I promise you it's normal. Just like it's normal to relapse.' I look at her, i feel tears coming but i hold them back.

It was the end of my session. I had my eyes fixed on that packet. Michelle turns her back and puts something away, i reach across and grab it. I put it in my baggy pocket. I say bye to michelle and walk out the door. I follow the corridor to the exit. Caroline was on the phone, i waved by and ran to the car. I was panicking. What if she notices? What if? What if? was travelling around my head. I opened the car door and corbyn looks at me happily. I fake a smile. I had my hand in my pocket clenching the pill so hard. Corbyn looks down at my hand and back at my face. He looks concerned. But he drives and doesn't say a thing...