*There is a girl crying in the corner of her room
Her eyes are red, her lips trembling
Staring at the walls, hearing the silent screams of her heart
Her pale face becoming paler and paler
There is a girl sitting in the corner of her room
Her head deep in her lap
She shuts her eyes with the last bit of hope
Her pulse becoming faster and faster
There is a girl standing in the corner of her room
Wailing at the top of her lungs
Tears pouring all over her face
Her dream becoming stronger and stronger
There is a girl sitting on her bed
As an old friend holds her close and tight
Her lips against her ear, whispering gently
The girls heart beating slower and slower
There is a girl dying in an old friends arms
Smirking gently she thanks her one last time
Her old friend lets her own tears cascade down
As he promises the girl a graceful dream.*
Crystals P.O.V
2 days later
I didn't go to school today, I didn't really see the point if I can't focus and I spend most my time in the guidance office. It's around 12 o'clock now and I'm still sitting in my living room thinking. I'm surprised not in my room, then there's a knock at the door that snaps me out of my thoughts.
I go to answer the door to find that it's Aureily standing there with a vase.
"Hey I umm...I just came here to give you this and say 'goodbye'" Aureily says, then hands me the lidded blue marble vase.
On the front of the vase was a howling Wolf and above it it read 'jitterbug there was a necklace around it with a tube and gem. Without a thought I knew it was Erica's ashes, she had her cremated.
"Um. Thanks this means a lot" I say, then look behind her and see a moving truck. "you're leaving?"
"Yeah, I'm going down to Georgia to live with my sister" Aureily replies.
"keep in touch, you always have me" I say, then she turns around and starts to walk away.
--------------------
2 hours later
I'm sitting in the center of my living room once again staring at the ashes. This is all that's left. My dad has just gotten home and is standing in the doorway staring at me.
"all you do is mope around, get up and do something" he says demandingly.
"No" I say flatly.
"Why because your little 'girlfriend' died and I'm supposed to pity you?" He says putting air quotes around girlfriend.
"Yes actually, I needed you when Erica... When Erica died and you weren't there you didn't even come to the hospital with us that night, you stayed home and slept.Hell! you didn't even come to the funeral with me. When I needed you most you weren't there for me. Why, because I'm not straight and you can't deal with it" I yelled and started tearing up."I was at these expecting you to be there for me, but you couldn't put your problems aside."
"Crystal just let it go, let her go" was all he said.
"I can't let go don't you understand that, without her it's like my heart is struggling she was the blood that pumped through my heart to keep me alive!" I exclaimed, my face now red.
"You lived without it before and you will do it again." He says heartlessly then leaves.
I then ran up to my room and into my bathroom and slammed my door behind me and looked at myself in the mirror. look at me I'm a mess without her. Then that tempting thought popped into my head again. It always seems to find its way there. I could see her again, all the pain will go away, I could be happy again. If I just do one simple thing. Die.
The only reason why haven't yet is because of Saul. I couldn't leave him behind alone and hurt. But honestly I'm in love with Erica and this is what I'm willing to do. I left my room and went into the family bathroom where my parents kept their medicine. I don't know much about pills but I know if you take too many you overdose. And there had to be at least 50 pills here.
I went back to my room with my arms full of bottles and locked my door behind me. I pulled out me and Erica's photo album and took out the cover photo.I then took the pills, bottle by bottle with no regret. I left the empty bottles scattered on the floor, took the picture in my hand and laid in my bed.
I stared at the ceiling and could feel my heart pumping faster and faster as if I was running a race. My vision started to get blurry and before I knew it everything went black and I felt at peace.
-----------------------
The next thing that happen completely shocked me I was in the hospital there were nurses and a doctor trying to get all of the pills out of my body and keep me stable. As I watch them struggle I see something in the corner of my eye, I turn my head to find Erica...
Both of us instantly start crying when our eyes connect I walk up to her and hug her full of desperation,I can't believe this is happening. I croak an 'I love you' in the crook of her neck and she reciprocates one back. Reluctantly we pull apart but still inches from each others face and Erica just stares into my eyes while I stare back into her mesmerizing ones that Ive missed.
"i've missed you so much" I say, breaking our silence.
"I've missed you too but your mom,dad, and Saul need you. You have to go back." Erica replies.
"No, I need you more. I'm not losing you again." I say, through gritted teeth.
"Crystal you don't understand they need you more than you know, we will see each other again, I promise" Erica argues.
"so this is love. this is that unbearable feeling of true love. Why do people want to feel this way" I say in the silence.
Erica doesn't say anything and I just look at the ground and continue to weep. Erica uses her index finger to lift my chin up and kisses your forehead, then says "find another to love please, you deserve to be happy"
wow Sophie deserves an apology.
I nod then hug her tightly, crying hysterically "I missed you so much" I say only loud enough of my hearing. I walk over my body and get ready to get back in. Then stop and turn my attention back to Erica when she calls " don't forget me" then disappears behind the walls.
"Never" I whisper than crawl back into my body.
I jump up gasping for air then look at the doctor then to where Erica just disappeared then back to the relieved doctor.
A/N: the poem from the beginning is mine so I would appreciate if no one stole it please. And guys I just wanted to let you know that suicide is never the answer. No matter how bad things get, remember there's always someone who LOVES you and can't live without you so stay strong. :)
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A Heart's Struggle
Short Story"You know when your drowning you don't actually inhale right before you black out. It's like no matter how much your freaking out, the instinct to not get any water in is so strong. That you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head is exp...
