A Heart's Struggle

Chapter 13- "Drowning"

*Write me a warrior
And I'll sing you a tragedy.
Shoot me a arrow
And I'll end you a life.
With one silver arrow
A sword kills a family.
You should have known
That he fed on strife.*

Crystals P.O.V
Next day

Saul and my mom have been in and out of my room all morning, surprisingly my dad too. But I refuse to talk to them, I'm just not ready to face them yet.

Now it's just Kiaro and I. He's been sitting in the chair next to me for the past 30 mins just thinking and looking at the floor. Kiaro has always had a soft side, no matter much he tried to hide it, we all saw it. He's like the pack mom, always looking out for everyone.

"Why?" Kiaro asks, eyes never leaving the ground and with his hands clutched together and held to his mouth while he shakes." Why'd you do it?" He repeats sounding hurt and betrayed.

" I was so sick of love songs, so tired of tears and so down with wishing she was still here." I answer.

"But Crystal we were all there for you! WHY!" Kiaro raises his voice. It frightened me, he's never been violent with me.

"You guys told me to be happy." I whisper full of fright

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After Kiaro left I sat there and thought. I thought about the good, back to when I first told Erica 'I love you'. Then I thought about the bad, our first argument.

Flashback: " I doubt that you even know anything about me" Erica argued.

" I don't know anything about you? Out of all people I should be the last you say that to" I say

"Go ahead then, tell me something about myself." Erica challenged me.

"Your favorite color is blue..." I started but was cut off.

"Everyone knows that." Erica interrupted me.

"You favorite color is blue because it calms you down when you get over excited. You worry that you ruin everything you touch. You love watching the sunset. You are completely obsessed with jeeps and want your first car to be one when you get your license. And before you say 'everyone knows that'. You want one because that was the type of car your cousin was in when she died from luekima. Your Aunt thought that she could save her and rushed her to the hospital, but it was to late." My voice getting softer," yeah I know, and I know about the photo album of pictures and flowers of you guys that you keep under your bed."

"How did yo..." Erica trails off, her voice cracking.

"I spent some time with your mom"

Flashback end

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Next day at the therapist

"Are you okay" Dr.Moss asks me.

"I don't like that question." I say.

"Why?"

"Because does it matter if I say yes or no."

"Okay then let's get to the real probl..."

"You know when your drowning you don't actually inhale right before you black out. It's like no matter how much your freaking out, the instinct to not get any water in is so strong. That you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding. But when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting its not scary anymore. Its actually kind of peaceful."

" what does that have to do with anything?"

"Ever since Erica died I felt like I was drowning. When I overdosed that's when my heart stopped hurting and I felt peaceful. To be honest I didn't want to be saved, I had already saved myself."

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A/N: I know short final chapter but thank you guys for reading. Please like and comment your thoughts .