The Assasination Game

He DID That Shit!

Germany woke up the next morning and tried to untangle himself from the mess of limbs he'd been ensnared in.
Mumbling to himself and trying to salivate his dry mouth, he threw on his shirt and boxers from last night and left the room.

Downstairs he found Poland curled up on the couch, and Belarus on a seat facing him, also sleeping.

Guess I'm first up.

But when he entered the kitchen, he found America there, rummaging through the cabinets for some food.

"Guten Morgen, Ame," he said before yawning.

"Oh, hey dude. Didn't hear you get up," America smiled at him.

He looked like he was going to say something else but he leaned closer to the German, and scrutinized him.
Germany felt a little flustered under his gaze, but stood still.
After a few seconds, America smirked and straightened his posture.

"So, you have a good time last night?"

"W-what?"

"Well, I'm no detective, and all I have to go by is a questionable camera roll and a blurry night of drinking, but I think those are bites and bruises on your body. Right?"

Germany didn't answer and held his hands up to cover any exposed flesh America could see. He looked down at the ground and stepped away.

"Man, I knew Canada was smooth, but two in one night?" America whistled, laughed, and Germany actually felt himself falling apart in embarrassment.

"Shut up, America!"

His friend only laughed harder. Germany sunk to he ground and covered his face.

"I didn't think Russia's--uhhh, sibling? Could be so freaky," America said.

Germany allowed himself to peek back up at America."I think Ukraine is a girl. But I've heard Russia just refer to her as 'xir,' or 'xe.' Maybe a pronoun thing?"

America nodded, "Gotcha. Non-binary, I guess?"

Germany could only shrug. Maybe he could ask Ukraine later?

"They still up there?"

Germany nodded, "Do you know where Russia is?"

"I think he went to his room? I don't know. I blacked out after a while, and I woke up in the bathroom at four in the morning. Haven't seen him though."

"Oh, well, I'm sure he'll turn up eventually. Russia's actually a pretty responsible drinker."

America nodded and he and Germany decided to look for something to eat.
Eventually, Ukraine came downstairs, rubbing xir eyes tiredly.

"Hey Germany~" xe purred.

Germany almost dropped his cup of coffee, a small tingle going up his spin at the silky tone in Ukraine's voice.

"A-ah, Hallo Ukra-hehhh...Ukraine! Did...did we wake you?"

Ukraine shook xir head, "No, but I think I slept pretty well. Even after all that tossing and turning."

America wasn't sure how xe could make that sound so suggestive, but when an awkward silence fell upon the three(at least, it was awkward for him and Germany), America stood up from where he leaned on the kitchen counter.

"WELL, I'm gonna go check on the others, maybe look for Russia's likely dead body, I'll see you two... laaateerrr," and he finger-gunned out of the room.

Once he made it out of their sight, America bolted up the stairs and nearly broke down every door he saw to find Russia. One of the rooms he burst into was where Canada was, and the taller nation yelped in surprise as he was woken from his sleep by the sound of the door banging on the wall.

"Ohheysorrybrodidn'tmeantoburstinbutI'mlookingforRussiaalsogoddamnyouandGermanypickeda F R E A K togetjiggywith," America explained as fast as he could and ran out.

Canada sat there in blatant bewilderment for a few seconds, just barely getting his eyes open. He yawned and stretched his mouth muscles, smacking his lips together as he finally chose to ignore America's plain idiocy.

America found Russia just a few minutes later, sitting in the sink of his bedroom's bathroom. He was snoring softly while cradling his ushanka in his arms.
Upon further inspection, though, America realized he was actually cradling a vodka bottle inside the hat.

America grimaced and chose to ignore that for now as he just shook his friend awake.

"Dude, dude, Russia, wake up. Hey man, get up!"

Russia grumbled and tried to shove America's hands away with his shoulder. America persisted though, and soon, Russia broke open one bleary eye. Then two.
When he saw who it was that was shaking him, he groaned softly, shutting his eyes tightly and stretched. His hands flew to his back when it cracked, dropping the ushanka. America was able to stick his foot out and slow it a little bit above the floor, thus softening the drop.

"What the fuck am I doing in the sink?"

America shrugged, "Fun night, I guess."

"Not for my back," Russia mumbled as he continued to soothe his aching muscles and stiff joints.

"Anyways, I think I'm gonna gather up Canada and leave. I just thought I'd make sure you weren't dead first. Poland and Belarus are still asleep, and Germany and Ukraine are in the kitchen."

"What's xe doing?"

"Probably dominating Germany," America said.

"Wh..." Russia sighed, "nevermind. I don't want to think about that right now. Or...at all."

"Right, want me to help you to bed?"

"I got it," Russia held a hand up, halting America's already outstretching arms.

He used his hands to lift himself off the sink and lowered his feet to the floor. When he let go the sink, he almost stumbled. He held a hand to his head as he blinked rapidly.

"Aw fuck, head rush."

"Come on," America said, carrying Russia as best he could into his room. He tried lowering him onto the bed, but accidentally dropped him on it.

"Hey, fucker!"

"Sorry," America said, holding his palms his hands up defensively.

America felt a little bad, and decided to pay him back for Russia taking care of him when he was hung over.

"I'll be back," he said.

America went rummaging g through the medicine cabinets till he found the Tylenol he was looking for.

He filled a cup with some sink water, and went back to offer it to Russia.

"Here."

Russia looked at the items he held and chuckled. He winced softly as he reached, but quickly downed the pills and water.
He lay his head back down and started drifting off to sleep again.

America nodded and snuck out of the room, shutting the door quietly.

Fuck, I forgot to call mére yesterday. She's probably dying from panic.

America ran back to Canada room and threw the door open again. This time, Canada almost screamed from the embarrassment of having been caught in the middle of changing.

"Hey, bro, just hurry up so we can go."

"America! Get out!"

"Alright, alright! Geez, you're such a girl about it."

He closed the door in time to block the empty liquor bottle that had been thrown at his head.