Love, Jess

summer of "making my soul happy"

08.13.19

hi friends,

so my summer is coming to a close pretty soon. sending lots of love and ~good vibes~ to everyone heading into another school year. many of you may know that college for me has just really fucked me up lmao. anxiety, loneliness, sadness, etc etc.... :( T-T D:

but we'll have that talk another time lolol. maybe next post.

i wanted to just reflect on my 2019 summer with you because at the beginning of summer, i told myself that i wanted to "make my soul happy" (as college just eats away the light in me).

y'all probably know that when school comes around, i basically disappear from the site because all i do is excessively worry about school. i hate that it happens, and i hope that i can try and fight that with this upcoming school year. so this summer, i just wanted to do things that would make add a little bit more to my life, or do things that i'm not able to do during the school year.

WRITING obviously is the big one. i was able to stick to a bi-weekly schedule for a good chunk of the summer before my end of july and august got super busy. i was really fucking proudddd. i caught up to where the first draft of memory documentation ended, and now we're in new territory. i want to dedicate at least an hour of writing during the school year so that i can slowly but surely get through memory documentation, as well as not let my creative fire be smothered by my college course load.

POETRY is something i got into. they're simple and small, but the process of tuning into my emotions/moments and then picking through different words to make a creative piece is so enjoyable – and even therapeutic for me. knowing that i can do small little poems like this is something i want to keep doing as school starts. again, i think it'll help my creative fire stay burning a bit.

MY AUTHOR INSTAGRAM is something i've invested time into this summer. not only in just posting, but the people i've been following! i've found that my actual personal instagram leads to social comparisons, fomo, etc etc. while combatting that irrational thinking is something that i'm working on not doing, i made a real effort to follow accounts on my author instagram that made me happy and inspired!

i've been following a lot of funny or cute comic/illustration/doodle accounts. they're a whole lot of fun. i follow accounts that post motivational, inspirational, and/or encouraging drawings and sayings and what not. plus, of course, some of my fave authors and a ton of new poets. but also, accounts that revolve around handling things like anxiety, sadness, etc.

i've also just had fun interacting with people on there, whether that's posting on my story or chatting with people in my dms. it's like a safe place for me. if you'd like to join me over there, my instagram handle is trxblehearts. send me a dm saying you came from this little post.

MUTE/UNFOLLOW since we're on the topic of social media. if there's people that you follow that spark an emotion other than happiness, then biiitch just unfollow or mute. you can mute their stories, their posts, or both! make your social media a place you want to be at. like, why should i continue to roll my eyes at some tool bags from high school when i can unfollow. ya know what i'm sayin

AMATEUR GRAPHICS haha. okay, so my friend introduced me to a website in high school called canva.com. it's a really great (AND FREE) place to make things like posters, presentations, and all sorts of graphics for social media. i've been playing around with different instagram posts/highlight styles all summer and it's just fun. though i am a sHIT graphic designer (aka why i can't just make my own covers lol), they do have templates that you can use or use as inspiration. it's been another way to get creative during the summer.

HONORABLE MENTIONS have been that three week period where i just colored in my adult coloring book right after school ended (bc no energy to do anything but), working out when i can, and seeing my boyfriend (i <3 you, dylan) and friends when i could. also, a lot of jenna marbles videos on youtube. she's my favorite. i've been watching her for years. i rewatch her videos often when i'm anxious. shoutout to the dink fam. and by shoutout, i mean shout back at me so we can talk LOL.

quick story time - me and my friends had a twilight marathon this summer bc my ass has never seen it and it was a great time. we were watching downstairs and my friend had locked the garage door bc we were at the movie where bella just wanted to die for edward's dick and we didn't want her parents walking in. but then during the sex scene, hER PARENTS CAME HOME AND STARTED KNOCKING and we all just screamed. it was so fucking funny.

while i did do as much as i could, a lot of my days began to blend into a repetitive, predictable routine because of me just working a lot. not too much happened this summer, but at least i did discover some new things that i liked to do/got back into writing. plus, i go to universal studios this weekend. weeeeee <3

let me know what you did this summer! i can live vicariously through your memories.

really going to try and post more on this little "love, jess" thing. i feel like we're just part of a community and there's a lot of love and healing that can come from that. i've got a few ideas about what i want to post about, so i hope you stick around! xx