[Tin x Can] If Only I Could Trust

Chapter 9: Part 1

I had to stop him from locking me away from him again. Did kissing Tul affect him this bad? Now that he was out of the sexual feelings from the aphrodisiac did he realize he liked Tul better than me? Everyone did. Now the person I love.

Without realizing my actions, I pulled Can backward and pinned him against the wall. I must have used more force than I meant to because he cried out in shock and pain. Shit. I let him go quickly. As soon as I opened my mouth to apologize I felt a sharp sting on my face. My ear began to ring from the clapping sound of Can's swift slap to my cheek.

'Tin...don't make me say it again.' Can's nostrils were flaring. Even when he first hit me I had never seen him this angry at me. I really didn't want to hurt Can. I don't know what got into me. 

'I'm sorry Can. I didn't mean to.'

'I don't know why I didn't notice sooner. Again with the drinking.' He pushed me away from him after sniffing my breath. 'You are Tin Medthanan. Why say anything to this low person Can? Get out.' He shook his head in disbelief. 

I grabbed his hand which he quickly shook off. "I had a few drinks while listening to what happened at the warehouse...well, more than a few. I won't drink anymore. I just wanted the truth. I-'

'You want to know everything so much. Fine, ok, I kissed Tul. In my drugged up state I liked kissing him. If you hadn't shown up maybe we would have done more. Is that what you want me to say? It is right? Luckily it was only a kiss. Do you know how embarrassed and gross I feel? I just wanted to forget it. But of course, YOU won't let me. I remember what I did and Tul is lying. I didn't touch that girl. I don't know why he said these things besides to get to you and make you doubt me. Which I see he succeeded in.'

I frowned and realized he was making sense.

'I never doubted you Tin. I always want to see what you say first. Still in a relationship but you can't trust me you damn fool. You say I don't think. No, YOU don't think! This is easy for me? I was tricked, drugged, stripped naked, kissed by your brother, and seen almost naked by everyone there and not to mention in the cab. I shiver every time I think of it. I was half naked throughout this damn city. Luckily you found an extra shirt in the car. I had to go into the hotel nearly nude as well. If I had been taller your shirt wouldn't have covered much. They probably thought I was a male prostitute...'

I hugged Can to me and the tension inside me broke. I was being irrational which wasn't my usual self. I should know above all else that he shouldn't be blamed in any way for his actions. I need to watch what I say to the person I love.

'Tin...I don't think this is the best. Let's break up.'

I don't know if I had stopped breathing or what but my lungs were starved for oxygen. All time stood still. I can't. This is one thing I can't do. I hugged him to me tighter which he didn't fight like I thought he would. When I let him go he backed away and focused his eyes to the ground. No, don't treat me how they do.

'Go, Tin. After this, forget you ever knew of me and you. I want to be-'

'Don't say friends.' I croaked out, unable to sneer at that word. My throat felt tight.

'Unlike last time, I don't want to be your friend. I want to be nothing to you because you act like I am nothing to you. I've tried hard to fight against everyone and everything for you and your family doesn't even like me. I have to protect myself and...forget it. Now, I'm going in that room. You are going to go out that door and lock it behind you. After this, I'm going back home and away from you. When your brother awakens, tell him he won, and don't bother to ruin anything. In the end it wasn't him, it was you.' I saw a tear run down his cheek before he swiftly turned and went into the room. The resulting click associated with the lock being set in place hit me like a gunshot straight through my aching heart.
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