[Tin x Can] If Only I Could Trust

Chapter 15: Part 2

A/N: The images above tell you all you need to know. Eyes beware.

Can eventually wanted to go back home but he hadn't said a word yet. Before we left we gave our respects to Kay. I had given extra to her and I hoped she had forgiven me for my past mistakes. I wasn't a good person back then and I had used her just because she was there. I hope in her next life she forgives me. I bowed to her before leaving the funeral. Can stood watching me with an unreadable expression before I took him away to get in our limo to the airport. My mother always had to be fancy and Can didn't mind for once that we rode with her oddly.

I stared at him during the long ride. He wasn't acting himself. The doctor said he was still in shock and I wondered when it would go away. I would make sure he went to counseling as soon as possible. I chuckled a little thinking of the fact that I was supposed to go back then for my 'drinking and drug problem' but I never did. Well that wasn't as important as this. I wanted my wife back.

I reached over and took his hand in mine but he quickly moved it out of my grip and placed it on his lap again. I sighed. He wouldn't let me touch him much since what happened. We never had a consummation of our marriage because of this tragedy. I could wait, Can was still a little weak but he seemed to be healing quickly. I hope he would accept my kiss. I leaned in and brushed my lips against his cheek but he moved away. Of course, not that either. 

My mother looked back at him with disdain and I gave her a look that told her to back off. To my shock he leaned over and kissed me in front of her. I tried to put a reign on my emotions when I pulled him into my arms and fervently returned the kiss. It had been so long. At least he wasn't shy when kissing me. He even used his tongue first. I knew that if I didn't end it, I would lose control. My mother didn't need to see that either. She cleared her throat loudly as if to say enough and we continued on our way.

After the car incident, Can became himself for a moment. He slept a whole lot, mostly in my lap during the flight but he didn't eat as much as usual. He had gotten a little thin since his stay in the hospital. The first thing I'll do is make him some food that he favors. If he doesn't eat it then I know something is definitely wrong with him. I carried his sleeping body into the house and laid him to rest on the couch. I frowned at the dark circles and bags under his eyes. I didn't realize he was that drained. 

After an hour I was in front of him shaking him awake.

'Can wake up, I made you food.' Startled he jerked awake and rubbed the area where he was shot. I pulled him into a quick hug before backing away. "You're safe, with me.' A small smile lit his face but his eyes told another story. They didn't look the same anymore.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, ruffling his hair. He let me without a reaction. I sighed, he was different still. I sat him down and placed some food in front of him. He began to eat but it was as if he was uninterested with it. Frowning I watched him eat. He didn't even get seconds. Was he depressed?

He yawned again and I pulled him to my arms and carried him bridal-style. I tried to not want Can but it was very hard, and I mean that in every way possible. His closeness always did something to me. I know I said I could wait but I wanted to at least make out with him.

He wasn't quite sleeping yet which I was happy for. When I started to unbutton my shirt, his eyes widened. My hands stopped briefly on the last button when I saw the extreme amounts of fear in them. He bolted and ran straight for the restroom. Jerking my shirt off in frustration, I folded it and placed it on the dresser, following my pants. I was starting to feel exhausted with my efforts to make everything better.

Once in the soft cushioned bed I heard the soft click of the bathroom door reopening. I looked towards it and I saw Can standing only in his shirt and socks. I could tell that he didn't have any underwear on. Before he could hesitate I called him to the bed which unlike earlier he nearly rushed to as if he wanted me as well. I could still see a little trepidation in his eyes but his actions were more willing.

I started to unbutton his shirt but he gripped my hand and shook his head no. I know he was still bandaged and he probably was too shy for me to see him like that. Fuck it. I didn't care. I wanted to give him the most pleasure and happiness I could. I went down between his legs and kissed and bit his thighs. His junior was slightly straining up but it seemed slightly smaller than usual. I noticed Can was shaking. Why was he so nervous?

'I won't hurt you Can. I'll be gentle. I promise. Try not to think about what happened before ok? You're safe with me.' I tried to convince us both but I knew my family had a hold over me that I felt I could never escape.

All of Can's doubts disappeared when I took him in my mouth. He still trembled but for different reasons. At first I was going to bring him to a high slowly but the way I was straining below I don't think I could stand it much longer. Within five minutes his essence released into my mouth. It had a slightly different taste than normal but it still wasn't unpleasant. 

Every thought in my mind told me to take it slow but I couldn't endure. Pulling open the drawer I grabbed the lube out. While he was catching his breath in the throws of his mind blowing orgasm, I pushed a gelled finger in gaining a sharp hiss from Can. He was very tight again and I had to loosen him up but he was so tense that I could barely enter.

'Calm down, I love you. Relax my wife.' I thought he would react negatively for me calling him that but he actually relaxed. My fingers moved freely inside, stretching him. I captured his mouth and Can was already kissing me in return when I brushed his prostate. I wanted him so bad I was starting to hurt when I throbbed. 'I can't do this anymore. I have to be inside you.' 

Slathering myself up, I positioned myself between his legs. The throbbing below intensified and once he saw how strong and thick it looked the fear in his eyes came back. He looked like he wanted to say something but I entered him slowly. A tear burst through from his eyes and his mouth was in a grimace. It had been a while since we last had sex and he was as tight as ever, almost like our first time. I wouldn't last long. 

Can always felt like a virgin but today it was like he actually was one again. I guess not having sex in a couple of weeks mixed with stress wasn't always bad. I could barely move inside him. He was crying more silently now when I was fully sheathed. I never saw him cry like this over sex. He really had suffered a major trauma. Looking at him like this ended my horniness and I began to soften.

'I'm sorry Can.' I slipped out of him and wrapped him into my arms. 'Forgive me. You're not ready. I should've known better.' He was crying hard into my chest and I ruffled the hair in the back of his neck to calm him. 'Let's take a long bath ok?' He nodded, clinging to me while I picked him up. I was about to turn when I saw two red dots on the sheets contrasting with the whiteness of them. 

Damn it. Next time I had to make sure he was completely relaxed.

A/N: Ugh poor traumatized Can 😔 He starts being more normal next chapter. Still something is off. Jeez.