Where There's Light | ✔

36. The Light

The longer I sat in the minivan with Nolan, the more irritated I knew my mom was getting. I didn't want to leave him yet. Judging by my mom's voice, it'd be a while before I got to see him again. We had the worst timing.

My mom wasn't the only one mad at me, though. I had a few missed calls from Mrs. Grice as well. If I still had a job she was probably going to stick me in the musty back room doing inventory.

But none of the mattered at that moment because Nolan was holding my hand and no one was watching. He absentmindedly made circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, still smiling. We hadn't stopped smiling. Or giggling whenever we caught the other staring. Or kissing. There was a lot of kissing.

Normally, in my experience, going through the firsts in a relationship—first kiss, first hand hold, etc—it was all weird and awkward as you tried to find your rhythm with this new person.

That wasn't the case with me and Nolan. We'd been practicing for months. We were in sync and had been for a while. The only difference now was that every touch, every look, wasn't to fool anyone. There was no more acting. That both thrilled and terrified me.

"I have to ask." I tore my gaze away from our entangled hands to meet his eyes, waiting for the question. "Was that...this because of the earthquake?"

I let out a small laugh. "You think I kissed you because I was scared?"

"The timing was suspicious."

"Is that why you kissed me?"

"Definitely not," he replied quickly. I felt myself smile wider.

Then we were kissing again, as if to prove we meant it. Sealing whatever this new arrangement was between us. I really didn't want to go home.

He pulled away, his hand still lingering on my cheek. "Remember when you asked me what'd happened if we met other people?"

"And you accused me of liking Nick?" I laughed, remembering the awkward exchange.

"Yeah. That." He almost looked embarrassed, running a hand through that silky soft hair of his. "That's when I knew I might've liked you."

My smile couldn't have possibly gotten any bigger. All this time I thought I was the only one with actual feelings in our fake relationship. I punched him in the shoulder. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I tried to," he said, rubbing the spot I hit.

I reeled back, looking at him like he was crazy. "When?" How could I have missed Nolan Chambers making a move on me?

"I asked you to see a movie with me," he said. "And again on Halloween during the fireworks."

"You remember that?" I thought I was holding onto a secret.

"I do. And I remember you reminding me that this was just about the prizes."

Thinking about that night made me feel bad. He put himself out there only for me to smack him down. "To be honest I was mostly trying to remind myself that we weren't really together. You were making it really difficult."

The only light inside the car was from the street light outside, but I'm positive he blushed. "Really?"

I nodded. "You've been torturing me for weeks."

"I tortured you?"

"Yes! With your extra long hugs and your eyes."

His brow creased. "What about my eyes?"

"The way they kept looking at me like—" My phone buzzed in my pocket. I didn't even have to pull it out to know it was a text from my mom. I let out a heavy sigh. "I have to go."

"You sure you don't want me to walk you to your door," he offered for the second time since we left his house. "She wouldn't murder you if I was there, right?"

"Yes. Then she'd get rid of you."

We shared one last kiss before I climbed out of the minivan. I had him park on the corner because if he'd parked in front of my house I definitely would've been dragged out by my pissed off mother.

Nolan was still parked on the corner, waiting for me to make it to the house. I couldn't even reflect on how lucky I was because I knew as soon as I walked into the house the night would be ruined.

When I walked into the house the first thing I heard was Taylor crying. Taylor who I had dropped off at daycare almost two hours ago. That's why my mom sounded so pissed on the phone. She knew.

Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to lie about it anymore. Another part of me wished that she could've found out about it on any other day but the day I found out Nolan Chambers had feelings for me.

I followed Taylor's cry up to her nursery. My mom had just finished changing her into her pajamas when I walked in. As soon my mom let Taylor go she stopped crying and started playing with her toys. She was so care free and was lucky enough not to be on the receiving end of the evil look our mom was giving me.

My mom stepped out into the hall with me, her arms crossed, eyes narrowed. I gulped. "Lying to me, going behind my back for months is not okay, Jade." The anger that was in her voice over the phone was gone now. She was eerily calm now. That was somehow worse than her yelling. "What if something had happened? What if that earthquake was worse than it was? I wouldn't have known where to find you."

"I know. I just—"

"You just what?" She gave me a stern look, waiting for me to explain.

"I got a job." I forced the words out, afraid I might choke on them. "I've been working at the market over on 18th. I know you told me not to, but I—"

She cut me off with a look. "You're going to stay with your father over the break."

"No!" My voice involuntarily raised above normal volume. The look my mom gave me made me flinch.

"He called earlier, asking if it was okay," she explained, anger sneaking back into her voice. "I was going to let you decided, but after everything you've been sneaking around doing...I think it's best I don't see your face for a couple of days."

She couldn't send me to stay with him. When he left he asked me to go with him. He wanted to take everything from her. I didn't want to be around anyone who could do that to someone they claimed to love.

"Mom—"

"That's the end of the conversation, Jade," she bit back. "We're done discussing it. Now give me your phone and you can spend the rest of the night in your room."

After handing over my phone I retreated to my room. I was going to get whiplash from everything that happened that day. It was a roller coaster of ups and downs. It was like the universe wanted to test my range of emotions. I'm sure I've gone through them all in a matter of hours.

Not bothering to change into pajamas I belly flopped onto my bed, exhausted from the day. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the best parts of the day, the Nolan parts. He was the light that broke up the dark reality of having to spend Christmas with my father.