Burning Willow

XXV

I woke up to the familiar rattling of train wheels. My eyes hurt because of the sudden light, and my eyebrows drew closer. Sharp pains were erupting everywhere in my body, stemming from my stomach.

"This is all my fault, this is all my fault, this is all my—"

"Shut up." Daniel's familiar voice rung in my ears. "Your bullshit is the last thing I wanna deal with right now. We both did it, not only you, and you're not the one to blame, it's Gregori."

"Yeah but we never should have involved her in this—"

"She's a Brien, Zev." Daniel snapped. "Like it or not, this was going to happen. If not with us, then someone else. Someone worse."

His voice was breaking. "Once all this is done, I'm leaving this fucking country."

"No you're not." Daniel argued. "You know what your problem is, Zev? You care for her."

"Of course I fucking care for her!" His voice broke. "But since we met, all I've done is lie to her. Constantly. She doesn't deserve that. She has nothing to do with Gregori or her father or Anderson and—"

"Neither do you, after this." Daniel cut him off.

I decided I couldn't take it after this. Watching them talk like that...

I opened my eyes to bright white light and instantly regretting it, groaning in pain. They both turned to me.

"Good, you're awake." Daniel said.

Zev came over to where I was lying and kneeled down. "How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up. My vision blurred a little but I was fine. He held onto my back and my arm to support me.

"I thought for sure we were gonna wake up in a prison cell." I said.

Daniel chuckled. "Not today, hon."

I looked down. My wound had been freshly bandaged – this time it looked as good as if a doctor himself had done it – which meant it was obviously Daniel.

"You probably have a low platelet count, which is why your wound keeps opening. That, and the intense physical exercise we keep going through."

I tried to chuckle, but it hurt so much that I could barely breathe. "Do you still have any of those painkillers?"

"No, you're already overdosed." Zev scolded.

"What about food?"

"None of that, sorry." Daniel said. "We can stop at the next station though. You'll need more meds and we all need food."

Right. I was wedged between Zev and the wall, but my head was resting in his lap, and not going to lie, it was kind of comfortable. So I stayed there.

Daniel sat cross-legged, working on his device.

Zev's hand slowly came up to my hair and began to stroke it. I knew I would give him shit for it if I was feeling okay, but right now, Zev's hand in my hair felt nice.

"What happened back there?"

"You passed out. Zev carried you to the train. Which caused you to bleed out more. We barely escaped the police."

"Hey maybe if we had been caught, that wouldn't have been such a bad thing—"

"No, it would have. They'd keep us for days before getting word out to Anderson. It's better this way."

"It's more dangerous this way." I argued.

"True. But you can't deny its fun." Daniel smiled.

When the train stopped, Daniel got up. "I'm going to go get food. There might be a shop nearby."

"Alone?" I asked. Zev didn't say anything.

"Yeah, someone's gotta take care of you." His eyes turned to Zev. "The train will stop here for fifteen minutes."

"How do you even know that?"

Daniel's mouth turned into a half smile. "It stops for fifteen minutes every stop from central Ohio. Loading and unloading issues. You both should be fine in the back."

Daniel got off, and Zev shook his head. "He shouldn't have done that."

"I know. But he's smart."

Zev didn't reply. Instead he sat up a little straighter and let out a breath.

"Zev?"

"I think that's the first time you've ever called me that."

"Help me up?"

He nodded, then carefully lifted me up so part of my back had some sort of support against a wall. "Why'd you change your name?" Part of our arms touched.

"A lot of.... people knew me, and not in a good way. Gregori decided it was best for me to have a new identity. Daniel, nobody really knew him because Gregori never let him out before this."

I slowly nodded, then impulsively, rested my forehead in the crook of his neck. He was warm and smelled exactly like I remembered him. Autumn and winter all wrapped in one.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you." I said.

"I know." He replied.

Then he lifted his hand to cradle my face and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "I didn't want you caught up in it this way."

"No," I said. "You knew this would happen. You just didn't expect to care this much for me."

He slowly chuckled.

We heard voices outside, and I froze instantly. I looked at him, and he peered out the window. Slowly, the voices faded away and my breathing calmed.

In the slight darkness at the back with the wooden boxes and the rest of the cargo, I caught a sliver of light shining at his face. It was coming from the sun and illuminated his cheeks and part of his nose.

When he looked at me, his eyes seemed to be shining.

He lowered his lips and pressed a lingering kiss on my cheek.

I didn't realize how badly I craved this until now.

And I really wanted to kiss him. I really did.

But I didn't.

Instead, a small smile played on my lips. "You know, maybe if I don't die from blood poisoning—"

"Don't say that." He cut me off.

He wrapped both his arms around me and I breathed him in. I didn't think I would ever forget this moment.

"Growing up, my mom was never there for me." I said. "And then, neither was my stepdad. Then my brother left. I just..."

His lips were pressed against my neck. I could feel his heavy breathing.

"I don't wanna lose you." He finished.

"It would crush me."

"More than if Gregori took over the—"

"Shut up."

Zev chuckled and I felt his hot breath against my skin.

I do love you, I realized. Because you chose to do what's right.

Because you chose to be a good person, when you had every reason not to.