The Worst Days of Our Lives

Chapter 7: Cassandra

“Turn that god damned thing off,” Toby slurred and shoved her away. She gasped as she rolled out of the bed and smacked against the floor. She landed awkwardly on her arm and cringed from the pain.

She crawled over to the other side, his side of the bed, and turned the alarm off. He mumbled something tiredly and turned over onto his side. She took a deep breath and slowly stood up, clutching her arm. Tip-toeing her way into the bathroom, she shut the door quietly behind her. She waited until  the lock had clicked before she turned on the light. Not that the dingy motel light would add any brightness to the room, but she did not want to risk waking him up.

She looked in the mirror and had to quickly look away, the pain in her arm now forgotten. She nearly burst into tears just at the sight of her own reflection, it never ceased to surprise her. She had lost a lot of weight. A lot. She had lost more 60 pounds and counting, courtesy of Toby. She used to be bigger than she had liked, but she was not huge, her thighs were big and her hips wide, but she had changed. “Food is for the weak,” he spit at her whilst taking a huge chunk out of a turkey leg. “You’re better than that. You don’t need this,” he would say, gesturing to the greasy bit of meat. He laughed as she couldn’t help but follow it with her eyes, her mouth watering uncontrollably, like a dog. Shaking her head to get rid of the thought, she took note of the other changes. It had been over a year by her count and she looked like a completely different person.

'That was kind of Toby’s intention,' She supposed. 'If I don’t look like me then no one can find me.'

Since she lost so much weight, some of it had been from her face. Her cheeks were caved in, making her look even more fragile. Her eyes were bloodshot and they almost always stayed that way. It drove Toby mad but that was one thing he honestly couldn’t control. He had started making her use eye drops. There were dark, purple curves under her bottom lash line that made her look several years older. Her once frizzy brown hair was now a smooth red. Toby could not stand frizz or curls. He would not tolerate it. Even right before bed she was forced to straighten it. He never let her out in the rain for fear of her hair turning into a wild animal like it used to. Even when it wasn't raining, the harsh Georgia humidity was a challenge to control.

And as for the red, well, the second week of her captivity he had bought the dye and explained to her his reasoning. “I like red hair, you see, Candice. With this color, you look like an intelligent young woman. If I wanted a nice respectable woman, well, look at me.” She did. “ I would have one. No, a lovely housewife would not suit my particular tastes. A slut, now, that sounds like my kind of girl. Now, how do I plan to show everyone who lays eyes on you that you’re a whore? That you’re my whore. Well, we will dye your hair red.” She stayed silent during this and held her tongue, nearly telling him how flawed his logic was. However, the red was a pain. Toby didn’t quite realize how fast red fades and how quickly hair can grow, especially her hair. The rampage that followed this discovery, was not taken lightly. Her hair was fried beyond salvaging because of how often she had to put such harsh chemicals on it. At least Toby didn't mind that.

Her skin was no longer sunkissed from many hours outside, it was a ghostly white. Yes, she did go outside, she learned that he had made the fifteen hour drive to Georgia from Indiana. Toby took her grocery shopping, took her to work sometimes, and he was even talking about getting her hired here as a maid, but she never spent more than a few moments in the open, never enough to bring any color back to her complexion. Besides the few bruises in a variety of colors that marked her face, she looked almost normal. She constantly wondered if people noticed the look of fright that remained a constant in her eyes. She was curious if anyone suspected what happened behind closed doors, or even contemplated the idea that she was someone else. Did she look as empty as he felt?

Her body however, told a far different story than her face. Her ribs poked out from the skin as if at the slightest touch they would pierce through. Her collar bones were sunken in deeply. Her hip bones jutted out in sharp angles and she couldn’t help but think she looked almost beautiful.  She had lost all of her curves from before but now you could see every curve of nearly every bone. Shadows were marked all across her body that contrasted dramatically with her pale skin. Scratches marked her back like she was mauled by a ravenous animal. Toby was rough and always drew blood. Her arms and shoulders had tiny bruises that looked suspiciously like fingertips.

As she pondered her reflection, she realized that she had missed her nineteenth birthday. With a sigh, she moved to the shower and turned the hot water all the way up before slipping inside to make another futile attempt at scrubbing the permanent feeling of him off her skin.