The Worst Days of Our Lives

Chapter 21: Chance

“It really is over-rated,” Jessica went on ranting about Time Square, “Just look at how miserable they all are. I mean, you’re cold, it's crowded, everyone is screaming,” she scoffed, “I would never want to go there.” Chance picked up on the almost pouty note in her voice and smiled as he realized that she indeed wanted to be in Times Square for New Year’s Eve. He was in the kitchen of her apartment, pouring them both glasses of wine, Jessica was sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket with a chinese takeout box in hand.

As he put the bottle of wine back in the fridge, Jessica popped another piece of sesame chicken into her mouth and went on ranting, “Why would you want to be there when you could be at home, warm, and get a much better view. It’s just ridiculous.” Chance nodded at her reassuringly as he handed her a glass, smiling at her stubbornness to just admit she wanted to go.

They sat on the couch in relaxed silence, sipping their wine and eating their chinese, vaguely paying attention to the screen of her T.V. Chance had just returned from home, having spent the Christmas holiday with his mom, he was very comfortable with simply sitting with Jessica.

After their drunken hotel stay, they had begun to go their separate ways, Chance once again determined to continue his search. As soon as he had pulled away from Jessica’s car, where he had left her that morning, his phone began to ring, a call from a number he didn’t recognize. His number was posted on the flyers of Cass, so this was not an uncommon phenomenon. When he answered it, the voice on the other line made him slow down to a stop and begin laughing, “I was just wondering if maybe sometime you would want to grab breakfast?” Jessica’s kind voice was coming through the speaker and Chance felt compelled to please her.

Ever since then, they decided to take things slow, not rush into anything, so by the time the eve of the New Year rolled around, they had been together for nearly two months; earlier today, Chance had decided that was long enough to tell her about Cassandra. She deserved to know why he tended to be over cautious with the lives of others and careless with his own. He felt it necessary for Jessica to know that some days, the only thing he was capable of thinking about was Cassandra.

He knew that this may be the end of their short-lived relationship, what self-respecting woman would stay with someone who had thoughts of his teen love constantly on his mind. Although Jessica was kind, she would most-likely tell him to move on, that was years ago, they were just kids. He didn’t know exactly how to start this particular conversation, how do you confess to someone your most horrid memory?

Chance decided to simply be honest and up-front with her, to tell her everything. “Jessica,” she looked up from the small white box in her hand, “There is something I need to tell you.” Instantly, her face fell, Chance knew he sounded like he had big news but she had no idea what he was going to say, why was she already upset? “I knew it,” she proclaimed, setting her food down on the coffee table in front of her. She turned towards him and crossed her arms, “You’re gay.” At first, Chance thought she was kidding, but the serious downturn of her eyebrows told him that she was honestly questioning his sexuality right now. “What? No,” dismissing her instantly, though she didn't look convinced.

Taking a deep breath, he started again, “Something happened, not too long ago really,” he just wasn’t sure how to continue, he hadn’t really discussed the events of Cassandra’s disappearance since the first few days of her kidnapping. “There was this girl,” he began again, forcing himself to ignore the tightening in his throat, “She was, well, she was everything to me. We were young, I suppose, although I’m still young. I was only 16, she was 18. We had been together for a little over a year.”

Slowly, Chance’s tale unfolded, sitting heavily in the silence between himself and Jessica. She absorbed all the details he gave her with a straight face and calm eyes, not allowing the horror of the situation to phase her. When he was finished she pulled him close to her, wrapping her arms around him, “Thank you for telling me.” This was not what Chance expected would happen, he expected undeserved sympathy or jealousy. Jessica broke all expectations he had, she was understanding and calm about the entire situation.

“I understand how important she was to you, what happened,” she shook her head, “Well that should’ve never had happened to someone like you. It is completely awful but I would honestly hate to see you let this affect the rest of your life. Let me help you?” Chance agreed, hoping that for the first time in a long time, he might actually have a chance at happiness.