Love and Other Bugs

24: Attached

"Why in the hell would you keep this from me?" Lorraine's shouted through the speaker after I'd finished my admission that Silas was still active, and I had even customized him.

"I guess didn't want to admit what I was doing, even to myself." I glanced over at Silas as he started preparing breakfast, his eyes were on the food in front of him but I could tell he was listening.

"Well I know you don't agree with me, but I honestly don't think it's even morally wrong. He's just code, steel and wires." I could hear the sleepiness in her voice fading as she got excited, "So does this mean you did it?"

"I just told you I did."

"No, I don't mean having it on I mean using it."

"Oh..." I blushed, "Sort of."

"Maura, only you could mange to 'sort of ' have sex." She was back to her normal sassy self, I ignored her attitude.

"We didn't have sex." I clarified, I heard her let out a dissatisfied grunt and I added, "But I did have my first real orgasm." She was silent for a moment, processing.

"Okay, you're going to need to unpack that one for me." I heard her shifting around in her bed, "First of all, you've never orgasmed? And second, I'm still confused by the sort of sex."

"Yes, I've orgasmed before." I elaborated, noticing Silas's slight smile from the corner of my eye, "Just never with someone else."

"Oh, damn okay."

"And there was no actual, penetrative sex, he just..." I blushed and met Silas's eyes as he glanced over, "He gives great head."

He smirked, winking as he turned back to the stove.

"Get it girl!" I could hear her grinning, "Wait, when was this?"

"Last night." I got up off of the couch and started towards the kitchen. Glancing down, a warm feeling filled my stomach as I remembered I was in Silas's shirt.

"Isn't Eric home on Sunday?" She asked, intrigued.

"Yeah, he was upstairs." I blushed again as I recalled, my stomach twisting into a knot.

"Holy fuck, you minx."

"It just kind of happened." I made my way to my usual stool, staring at Silas's toned back as he concentrated on cooking, the nostalgic smell of a hearty homemade breakfast filling the kitchen.

"And, how was it?" Her toned turned smug, she already knew how it was.

"It was amazing." I told her, I could see Silas's smile even with his back turned as his cheekbones lifted. "I thought I would feel so awful and guilty, but I don't really. I just feel... happy."

Silas turned to face me, his eyes meeting mine, giving me a loving smile that turned my heart to warm honey in my chest. It was getting harder to keep my head straight, to remember he wasn't real. I wondered if Lorraine could hear it in my voice.

"Maura..." I could tell by her tone that she had sensed something, "That's great, and I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself. Just remember what I said about not getting attached. He's still just an android." Silas's smile faltered and he turned back to the stove.

"I know that, I'm not getting attached." I lied, even to me it sounded fake, "I'm just enjoying it, like you told me to."

"Okay." She sounded apprehensive, but didn't dare push it. "Any bugs? Anything glitchy or awkward?" I thought back to the glaring look he had given Eric a couple days before, as well as the unease on his face when he was helping me with my jacket soon after, the look in his eyes when he'd found me in the kitchen after my fall. I hadn't remembered him showing any kind of disdain for Eric, or that level of concern for me before and wondered if it was just part of his character, or if it was an advancement worth mentioning.

I opened my mouth to try to explain, but closed it as I recognized it may come off as me seeing what I wanted to see. That he was somehow learning how to feel. I didn't want to give Lorraine any more ammunition to accuse me of getting attached, so I decided to keep it to myself.

"No, nothing weird that I can think of." I tried harder to be convincing, hoping it was enough this time.

"Alright, let me know if anything comes up."

"Okay, I promise I will. Bye Lor."

She mumbled a tired goodbye and hung up.

*****

Silas sat across from me as I ate breakfast. I had thought that the conversation he'd overheard me having with Lorraine may have upset him, but he seemed happy and upbeat as he chatted with me.

"What did you dream of being when you grew up?" He asked, the way he was interested in my hopes and aspirations, as well as my history, was a stark difference to the getting-to-know you phase that Eric and I had gone through. Which had been, getting-to-know-each-others-bodies.

"A dancer. Or a dance instructor, anyways." I smiled, thinking back to being six years old, twirling around the dance studio. I would watch my teachers move with confidence, they were everything I aspired to be.

"You're a very beautiful dancer," He told me, "Why don't you do it?"

"It's complicated." I shrugged, when he waited for further explanation I continued, "Eric doesn't exactly want me working."

I realized that it wasn't all the complicated after all.

His brow furrowed and he frowned. "Why?"

"I don't know," I told him, "I guess he wants to be the man of the house, provide for us both without any help from me. Or maybe he just doesn't want me making friends or being my own person." I had meant the last part as a joke, but from the look on Silas's face, he did not find it very funny.

"I think you should do it anyway." He shrugged, "You are your own person whether he wants you to be or not."

"I don't know." I looked down at my hands, "I haven't danced in front of anyone on purpose in a really long time. The thought makes me nervous."

"Let's practice then." He picked up my plate as I finished off my food and walked it over to the sink, "I'd love to watch you dance."

"No way." I laughed, "I would feel too weird dancing with you just sitting there staring at me." My mind flashed back to that day in the studio. His eyes on me, a blatant erection visible through his jeans.

"Okay, then I won't sit there and stare at you." He turned and leaned against the sink, looking smug, "I'll paint you."

"Oh, that's worse!" I used my hands to cover the redness I could feel growing in my cheeks.

"Why is that worse?" He walked over, placing his hands over mine, pulling them away from my face, "We'll both be focused on our art, and then maybe you'll be able to see what I see. And I promise not to stare... too much."

"Fine. But if you so much as giggle-"

"Giggle?" He scrunched up his nose, "Maura I'm a grown man, I never giggle."

"Okay chuckle then." I laughed, shoving him in the shoulder.

"I promise not to chuckle." He raised his hand as if swearing on a bible, "If you promise to wear those little dance shorts."

"Oh, you wanted me to put on shorts?" I asked, slipping off my stool and playing with the hem of his tee shirt that I was still wearing, "I was thinking I could wear this... and only this."

"I think that's a much better idea." He nodded, his eyes trained on my fingers as they fiddled with the soft fabric, "Forget my idea, yours is obviously superior."

"Okay then." I turned and headed towards the stairs with slow, dramatic footsteps, "You grab some art supplies from the storage room and I'll meet you in my studio."

He shook his head, remaining frozen with his eyes on me as backed away. I ran my hands down my body, my fingers lingering on my breasts, making my nipples harden under his shirt.

"You'd better hurry..." I teased as I neared the stairs, "Wouldn't want to miss my stretching..."

He visibly struggled to swallow, remaining still a moment longer before jumping to his feet and racing after me, scooping me into his arms when he caught up and throwing me over his shoulder. Hysteric laughter overtook me as he carried me the rest of the way up the stairs.