All I Ever Knew Was Your Name [Nick Robinson]

FORTY

circles by post malone

September begins.

Leaves change color, the night comes faster, the wind blows tirelessly and rustles the branches until they shiver themselves bare. Warm sweaters and fuzzy socks and scarves and boots and gloves are a part of our everyday wardrobe again, and it'll only intensify as the days go on.

The crisp, earthy smell of fallen leaves fills my nose as Penny and I walk up the driveway to Owen's house on a Friday night. Not just any Friday night, though. It's the night of Penny's surprise birthday party.

Now, her birthday isn't until the fifth of October, but Owen thought it might be a good idea to throw it early. That way, it'll really surprise her.

It's my job to bring Penny to the houseful of her family and friends. We even got her family from Boston to come, which we know she'll appreciate. She hasn't seen some of them since she moved here, which has been almost two years.

"Maybe we can play strip poker tonight," she suggests as we begin up the steps.

"What? Why?" I stifle a laugh, burying my hand deep in my coat pocket to fight off the relentless breeze swirling around me. My other hand holds an unopened bottle of Cabernet like a lifeline.

I haven't had a drink in a couple of days.

She shrugs, her blue hair falling to her back. She decided to dye it again a few days ago. She said it was time for a change. And she wanted to feel like the Ice Queen, as she put it.

"Come on! You and Nick are— well, you're a work in progress," she rolls her eyes.

It's only been a few days since that stormy night where everything changed. We haven't spoken too much, other than passing daring gazes back and forth every time we see each other. It's a knowing, sensual gaze that keeps me reeling for him.

He knows it.

Either way, we've kept a healthy distance as we sort through our feelings on the matter, which I'm appreciative of. However, I'm feeling especially nervous about seeing him tonight. I'm not sure what will be said or done. The uncertainty makes me tremble.

"And getting naked is going to make us better?" I raise an eyebrow, the thought of Nick and I together again sending goosebumps through me. Luckily, my skin is covered.

Again, she shrugs. "Hey, it's worked so far."

I roll my eyes next, fingers tightly pressing into the neck of the bottle. The thoughts stumbling through my head have me spinning, but I remain composed as Penny opens the door as casually as ever, the darkness of the living room enveloping the two of us.

"Jesus, fuck. Is anyone even home yet?" she growls.

I watch as her gloved hand finds the light switch, and I hear the click! only to be greeted by the familiar home that I have not been in since Nick returned. I used to be here almost everyday, spending my days with Owen and Alex as we quietly drank our sadness away until we had no choice but to cry or fall asleep. They were the darkest of days, but I still find comfort in being here.

Not to mention, I'm greeted by dozens of people jumping up and yelling "Happy Birthday, Penny!" at my friend, who nearly falls into me out of fear.

"Holy shit!" she exhales.

Her eyes follow the room, and I hear several more curse words fall from her lips as she hugs her family members tightly. Pretty blue waves cascade down her back and little tears fall to her pink cheeks. My beautiful best friend couldn't be happier than she is in this moment.