Ariadne: Almost an Alpha | ✓

Chapter 51 - Sad Autopilot

Chapter 51 - Sad Autopilot

Functioning on a sort of sad autopilot, I start cleaning up the house, barely even noticing Dylan when he arrives.

    "Oh my god," he says, taking in the state of my room and myself. "Ari, let me and someone else handle this. You're..."

    He trails off, not really knowing how to put into words my current state.

    I finish it for him. "A mess?" I ramble on. "A pathetic, selfish excuse of a person that lets her feelings get in the way of being rational, even knowing the consequences? This could have been a lot worse."

    He sighs. "No, you've just had a long day. There's only so much a person can handle at a time."

    "I fucked up, Dylan. I really fucked up."

    "This isn't your fault."

    "But it is. And I hurt him, Dylan."

    "You did what needed to be done."

    "That's the same excuse I gave Sterling."

    He winces. "Yeah, Sterling wasn't too happy. Mateus had him out on the border sweep just now, and he was really pissed when he found out. I guess that's the end to our, what did you call it again? 'Bromance'?"

    I know he's trying to make me laugh, but it doesn't work. Instead, it just makes me more dejected, knowing I've fucked up friendships as well.

    I give up on trying to move the body by myself and instead soak up any remaining wet blood with towels I intend to burn.

    "Umm... you... well..." He can't figure out anything to say anymore, so instead he just starts to help.

As we clean, I start to worry more. How am I going to explain this to the pack? They're going to be so frightened. It was obviously premeditated, but it's not like I can tell them the truth.

Dylan leaves to get started on the other room.

I dwell on the issue as I clean silently, but all roads lead back to him, Cain. I can't be with Mateus because of Cain. I can't tell the pack the truth because of Cain. These men were sent here by Cain.

I'm reminded I haven't rebuilt my mental barriers when, without having to use any force on his part, I hear Cain speaking to me.

Next time you may not be so lucky.

I drop the scrub brush in my hand, startled. I've never allowed him to enter my mind peacefully, so hearing his voice without any pain accompanying it is odd.

Don't you dare send anyone after him again, I respond. I meant for it to sound threatening, but it just amuses him.

He emits a laugh, a hollow sound, devoid of all emotion. Ahh, but my message was received that way, was it not? I see my sources were not wrong. He is important to you. Originally the two were meant for you and Dylan but...

I haven't told Mateus anything. Leave him alone.

But little Ariadne, there need to be consequences for your actions. You've put me in a predicament, and still, I'm going to graciously give you two options. You can come back here willingly, and I will leave everyone you love alone. I'll even forgive this obvious transgression against our agreement and let your pack continue without you. Or, you can stay where you are, and I'll just have all of you killed.

I feel him trying to dig deeper into my mind, trying to gain access to my thoughts and memories. I can't have him knowing too much about Mateus, or he'll use him to get to me even more than he already has.

I don't have any time to think, but the choice is obvious.

I'll come tomorrow night, I say before pushing all the walls back up. Even though Mateus and the warriors are on high alert and everyone is going to be safe now, I can't have them here for the rest of my life. I need to fix the mess I've caused. I can't live in the fear Cain creates any longer.

Immediately, I book plane tickets and start packing, starting with my knives. I'm going to have to risk putting them in checked luggage.

Just because he thinks I'm giving him what he wants doesn't mean I will. I'm going to end this once and for all or die trying. He doesn't get to threaten my pack and get away with it, and I don't want to live in fear anymore.

I know I won't be able to just disappear without Dylan knowing exactly where I've gone, so I lie.

"Where are you going?" Dylan asks when I walk into the room he's cleaning, my bag in hand.

"I'm going to Mateus's pack. I can't have a bad relationship with the warriors right now. We need them willing to help us. I need to apologize."

In reality, I know Mateus will do his job well regardless of how angry he is at me, but Dylan doesn't know that.

"I'll come with you. You shouldn't be travelling alone right now."

"I need you here, especially now. I'll be driving. I'll be fine. Plus, now you'll know if anything happens." I tap my head, reminding him he can contact me whenever he wants now. "I'll tell you when I get there."

"Fine, but I want updates on the way too."

"Done. I'm probably going to have to be there for a couple of days. They're probably going to make this month's regional meeting early because of tonight."

He buys all of it.

"I love you, Dylan, always," I tell him, hugging him tightly.

With the comforting knowledge that Mateus is safely in his pack and Dylan and my pack will be guarded by the warriors while I'm gone, I take my leave.

~~~~~~~~~~

Please vote, follow, and/or comment!

Unlike a few fun surprises I dropped on you in the past few chapters, I feel like everyone already saw this little bit coming.

Question of the week: In this chapter, Ariadne describes herself as a "pathetic, selfish excuse of a person that lets her feelings get in the way of being rational." Do you think that letting Mateus get so close to her was a selfish decision? Or, better yet, was keeping him in the dark selfish? What about completely blindsiding him with rejection? Or have the past few chapters just been the result of a girl who had to grow up too quickly, who mostly had do things on her own, and now knows no other way to live?