The Caged Bird

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I felt comfortable leaving the sanctuary under Arat's watch while Patrick and I were away; I gave her a small list of things that needed to be done for when I got back, all were simple things, but they'd make getting the paperwork done a lot easier for me. I knew that after all this running around, I had a shower stall with my name on it waiting for me. Patrick insisted on driving, and I wasn't gonna complain. Ezekiel's early arrival cost me hours of sleep, so I caught up on my sleep on the way there.

I jolted awake from a deep sleep, causing Patrick to jump in reaction. He looked at me as I heavy panted in my seat, holding my stomach as I tried to calm myself down.

"Are you okay?" Patrick frantically asked. "Did your water break? Are you having contractions? Are you—"

"No." I mumbled. "No, I'm fine... just a bad dream." And a bad dream it was; there was no point of lying about it. I've been known for having bad dreams. Hell, I don't know a single person who hasn't had one lately. But still, what I dreamt about was horrific and made my stomach churn.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?" I never looked up at him, but instead looked out the window. His reflection; I could still see his reflection. He was worried, but he couldn't do anything, so I didn't want to bother him with my stupid dreams.

     "How much further?"

     "Couple miles, maybe less." Patrick answered. "You sure you wanna do this?"

     "Not really, but it needs done."

     "So, what happened between you two is—"

     "It's over." I snapped. "It's been over; I haven't seen 'em since I took over the Sanctuary."

     "Okay."

     "Ya don't believe me?"

     "I want to, but you two were inseparable; I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting what happened." I looked over at Patrick with frustration. "I'm loyal to you, don't ever question that; I thought Negan was a fucking psycho, but I knew you were compassionate, no matter how hard you tried to come off as a hardass."

     "Trust me, I can be a fuckin' psycho if I fuckin' snap; accuse me of shit like that again, and you'll see it first hand, is that understood?"

     "Yes, ma'am." Patrick murmured.

     "Good. Now, drop it. In fact, I don't wanna hear a word outta ya for the rest of the day, got it? Don't talk unless it's a goddamn emergency." Patrick didn't respond. "Sanctuary to Alexandria." I spoke into my radio.

     "Go for Alexandria." Rosita responded.

     "Rick has sent me over to deal with him while they head out; I'm pullin' up on ya, so be prepared to open the gate."

     "Copy that." Rosita deadpanned. Rosita still wasn't happy with me, not after losing Abraham, Spencer, and now Sasha; Negan was a daily reminder of what she lost; she resented me for it, and no one could blame her, not even me. Still, I had to do what needed to be done.

     Not long after my brief communication with Rosita, we arrived at Alexandria's gates and were let inside a few seconds later. Patrick and I climbed out of the truck and walked over to Rosita as she shut the gate. "How's everythin'?" I asked.

     "Quiet, for the most part until New Haven was brought up in front of him; he hasn't shut up since." Rosita answered.

     "Ya could've just told 'em I didn't go."

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