MRS. COLLINS

39. can't be good

When I got married to Nick, my only job was to show up at the wedding. I had already signed the contract, so it was sort of like we were already married. I was already in. The wedding was bigger than I would've liked, if it would have been up to me. I didn't know most of the guests. That was the day I realized how important it was to smile. People like it when you smile at them. At least, important, rich people do. The only thing I had a say in was the wedding dress which I thought was fair considering I was going to be the one wearing it. I didn't really care that I had zero say in the wedding because it wasn't really my wedding. It was Nick's wedding. It was all for him, all for show.

I remember being impressed with his acting. He was always conscious on the way he looked at me and touched me when there were people around. We were friends so his arm around my waist didn't bother me. We kissed once before the wedding. It was right after I signed the contract.

"We should do it, so it looks natural at the wedding," Nick had suggested casually as if he was suggesting we go take a walk.

I had shrugged. "Okay."

That was our first kiss. There was zero tongue involved. He just placed his hand on my back and pressed his lips against mine. We kissed the same way at the wedding except he had his arm around my waist, and we had rings around our fourth fingers. That was our first kiss as husband and wife.

How little we knew then.

I thought for sure I was going to be married to him for two years without any drama or problems. How much different could it be? I remember thinking, we're already best friends, why not?

Looking around Colton and Eva's wedding venue makes me think all of this.

It's an outdoor wedding and the weather is absolutely perfect for it. If I was the bride, I would take this weather as a good sign. It would make me even more anxious and excited. I find myself wondering how Eva is feeling. There are so many people, so many cameras. I remember feeling nervous above everything else. I could deal with strangers. It was the cameras that scared me. Was I thin enough? Was this dress extravagant enough? What if someone found out about the contract and exposed us at the wedding? Does Nick's family really believe me? Am I selling the woman in love?

There were so many questions, so many doubts, so many reasons to be scared. I have no idea how I managed to make it down the aisle without tripping or falling. It must have been my expertise with heels.

Colton and Eva's wedding is decorated with beautiful white orchids everywhere. They adorn the wooden chairs facing the altar. There's a vase of flowers in each of the tables behind waiting for the party afterwards the ceremony. The wooden chairs are separated down the middle by the aisle. There is a white cloth on the ground which is where Eva will be walking on in a couple of minutes.

I'm sitting in the first row, on the right side which is where the groom's family and friends are sitting. Eva's family and friends fill the other side. On the chair far to the left is Christina, of course, with Richard, her husband, sitting right next to her. She looks annoyed as Richard answers a call. She shoots him an annoyed look when he stands up and walks away from the loud crowd. Hannah is sitting next to him and I am next to her, with Nick on my right and Derek next to him. The Collins men look so sharp in their black and white tuxedos. Especially Colton, of course. He's sitting next to Derek right now, speaking with his brothers as we all wait for the bride.

I am blown away with how beautiful the altar looks. There is a silky, beige curtain filling the background with beautiful long, white lights running down on it. It almost looks like rain frozen in time. In front of it are tall vases with flowers of all kinds of colors. Pink. Blue. Purple. Red. White. Yellow. They pop out in all the white. It's just a great contrast. The man who will be officiating the wedding is the same man who officiated my wedding with Nick, it's Edward, Nick's lawyer. He's standing, reading his journal as he waits. There is an orchestra to the left playing classical music.