Finding Forever (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

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"Yeah, its me." John said.

I didn't notice that I was holding my breath until Tom came into the kitchen and gave me a look. A look of fear. He heard me say John's name.

I pressed the phone to my chest so that John couldn't hear me. I looked at Tom and smiled. Trying to assure him that I was okay. He obviously didn't believe me. But I told him to go into the Living room anyways. He did.

Once Tom was out of sight, I caught my breath and picked the phone up to my ear. "Why are you calling me?" I said bluntly. I was trying to act all tough, but inside, I was dying.

"I need to get some things off my chest." He answered.

I kept up my 'I don't care' attitude. "Okay. Shoot."

He sighed. When he did that, I knew, this wasn't going to be a good conversation. Nothing good could come from this.

"The night that I broke up with you, you kept asking me... why. And I told you that there was no good reason why I did it." He explained. "But I lied. There is a reason why I broke up with you."

I finally knew what this call was about. I was going to get answers. Answers to these questions, running around in my mind. Maybe if I just listen to what John has to say. I'll feel better. I can finally move on, because I'd have answers.

"So, what is the reason?" I said. I began to tremble, waiting for his answer. My hands were shaking so much that I could barley hold the phone. My eyes felt heavy, like they were holding in a bucket of tears, which they were. And I still couldn't catch my breath.

"Ariana, I'm getting married." He said.

I froze. And held on to the counter to keep me from falling to my knees. Its only been a few months since we broke up. And he's getting married?

"We met a few years ago, while I was still with you. And we were really close friends, but our friendship kind of turned into, more. And I fell in love with her-"

I cut him off. I thought I'd be so depressed, but to my surprise, I wasn't sad, I was angry. I was so mad, I thought I was about ready to combust.

"No. John stop. I don't want to hear your love story. What I want to know is... when did you fall in love with this woman? Was it when you were still dating me?"

"Ariana-"

"Answer the question, John." I demanded.

"Yes. We started dating about a year ago. When you and I were still, a thing." He said.

I scoffed. "A thing? John, we weren't just a thing! We lived together! We were a product of seven years of unconditional love. That is not just a thing."

"I know. But-"

I cut him off again. "No. Stop it. You basically just called to shove it in my face. You had no good intentions of giving me answers. You just called to tell me that you've been cheating on me, the whole last year of our relationship. And that this woman, is now going to be your wife. Those aren't answers you son of a bitch!" I paused to breath. Tears were streaming. Tears of rage. I continued. "You know what? I think its time I get some things off my chest."

"Okay." He said, timidly. In all of our seven years, I have never yelled at him. This is probably new to him.

"First thing. The park, where you broke up with me... that was where we had our first date, you ignorant asshole."

"I forgot about that, I-" He tried explaining.

"No! Its my turn to speak." I cut him off. "Secondly. I wish you the best, John. I really do. With your new fiancée. But just know that, I don't care. So lose my number, and never talk to me, ever again." I paused. He was silent on the phone. My hands were shaking so much that I thought they were going to fall off. "And lastly... Take Care."

I hung up the phone and slammed it on the counter.

I lay my head in my hands. And all that rage, went away. It was now, sadness.

Tom came in the kitchen and walked over to me. "What'd he say?"

I picked up my head, tears still falling, and I looked at Tom. In that moment,  I felt like an idiot. Tom looked so worried. He had this crease in his eyebrow. And his eyes were misty. He was stressed.

I looked away from him. "John is getting married."

Tom's broad shoulders fell. "I'm so sorry." He said depressingly. He put his hand over mine, and I flinched.

I got up from the counter. "I don't really want to talk about it. I'm just gonna go rest. So, would it be alright if you... left?"

He looked at me. Noticing my rejection of his hand. "So, this is how its going to be, all over again?"

I looked at him. "I'm sorry, Tom. Its just. I really need to be alone. Please, I'm begging you. Can you just leave?"

He looked into my eyes and just froze there. He finally grabbed his jacket. "Yeah. I'll get going." He said, quietly. He opened the front door and looked back to me. "Just, remember what we talked about."

I nodded. Trying to hold in my tears. "Yeah. Okay, I will."

He looked at me as if he knew I was breaking down inside. I was corroding, from the inside out. And he saw it. He saw right through me.

"Tom, I promise I'll be fi-" I stopped, knowing that the word 'fine' wouldn't assure him. "I'll be okay." I smiled through my watery eyes. "Please Tom."

He nodded. I could have sworn I saw a tear trail down his cheek. He shut the door and left.

Once the door shut, I ran into my room, and fell onto my bed. Buried in pillows. I kept my face buried so that the other apartments wouldn't hear my loud sobs.

Why is it that John still had that hold on me. That every single time I heard his voice, it brought me back to the start. Back to the fact that I push guys away. Even the only guy that I trust, Tom. I push him furthest away.

Why did John have to call? Why did I have to answer?

In all this time, the only thing I ever wanted from John, was answers. And now I wish I had never gotten answers. Because all it did was make things clearer and clearer. It didn't fix anything.

If anything it made things worse.

I might update again tonight! Because I love you all that much! ♥ Guys, everything is going to be okay. ;) Hint Hint.
Love you all! Thanks for reading. x.Ashley