Finding Forever (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Going To Be Okay

I stopped crying to my surprise. I just couldn't cry anymore. I had no tears left, no energy.

John is getting married to another woman. John was cheating on me.

I can't believe I never even noticed. That whole last year of my relationship with John, was a lie. All the times John would leave for "work," was he really going to work? Or was he sneaking around with her? And when he came home every night, did he still have the scent of her on his clothes? Did he still run out of the room to answer his phone in private? Why didn't I notice?

Maybe I did notice. But I just didn't want to notice. I didn't want to believe it. So I let my mind cover up the signs. And I acted as if it was a surprise, but to be honest, in my heart, I knew it all along.

It still hurts. And when I began to think of my relationship with John, I'd get bombarded with more and more bad memories. Like the fight with my father. Or just 8 short hours ago, when I made Tom leave.

Every time I seem to be on the right track in my life. Something stops me. And I sink lower than I did before.

Just when i thought I couldn't, I started to cry again. My mind remembered bad memories, like a row of dominos. Once you knock over one domino, they all begin to fall. Until you have nothing left.

When I glanced over at the clock, it was 5 in the morning. I had no sleep. I was awake all night, staring out the window. Watching the rain fall in buckets over the city.

I felt so empty. I needed something. I just didn't know what I needed. I took a few slow breaths and wiped my tears. When I took my hand away from my face. I froze, looking at the bracelet that Tom gave me, dangling around my wrist. I read those words over and over again. 'Everything's going to be Okay'

And finally, I smiled.

I smiled at the bracelet. I knew what I needed.

I didn't even think. I ran out the door as quickly as possible.

-

-

When the cab pulled over, I paid the driver and slammed the door behind me. I ran down the trail through the pouring rain. I didn't even know what I was doing. It was like my mind and my heart were on two separate ends of the universe. I followed my heart.

The sign said 'Dorney Lake, Open' and I ran by it, covering my face from the freezing pellets of water flying at me. I stopped for a moment to find the gate. The gate that overlooked the lake perfectly. The gate that Tom said was his favorite spot.

I caught a glimpse of the gate with a figure of a man leaning up against it, looking over the lake with a hood over his head. Tom.

I didn't hesitate to stop and think if it was really him. I just went for it. I ran up to the gate and gently poked the man's shoulder. "Tom?"

He turned around, looking down to me with surprise. "Ari. Hey What-."

I stopped him from saying anymore. I caught my breath. "Tom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did it to you again. I pushed you away. I just, I have it in my mind that, you're another John. Like you are going to hurt me as much as he hurt me. But, you aren't. You're not John."

He nodded. "You're right. I'm not John."

"I'm so sorry." I said, in a whispering tone.

He shook his head. "Don't apologize. I don't care about that. I just want you to be okay. Are you okay, Ariana?