The Seed of Hope

Revival of the fittest

For what felt like months, I was walking endlessly in the bliss and it never seemed to have a reason...until I woke up. The air felt so cold in my lungs, everything felt so fresh and new yet I was in my room. My body seemed repaired as I stumbled out the room and towards the dining area to see my whole family sat there muttering "planning my funeral already?" All eyes were on me as if I were a zombie, that can only mean something bad happened.

Joseph hurried to me bringing me into a hug as Jacob and John just stared in shock. After a while faith joined the embrace as my brothers left the room feeling slightly uncomfortable with the signs of affection. I took a seat across the table from them "what do you remember?" I stared at the wood surface trying to recall what I remembered while I was dying "just dying and walking in the bliss for what felt like a few months, it didn't have the same warmth as the bliss, it was...cold,really cold all the time. Like something dark happened there"

A teacup was passed across the table and I knew exactly what it contained. I'd seen this done too many times before, sometimes I was the one pouring the bliss infused liquid. Knowing it was perfectly safe, I took sips as I tried to reimagine the place I walked through "it was just the same for the whole time, eternally walking, unable to stop right up til the second I woke up. I'm sorry I can't give you more" they shared a look "Jacob told us of your plan, we are only willing to go forward with it if you are" I nodded "being 'gone' will give them more evidence to believe I was 'taken'. We also need less resistance"

I was surprised at how wise the words that spilled from my lips actually were, having just woken up and I was already back to how I was before I died, I was more than ready to move out with this plan and my devotion to the group hadn't faltered, if anything, it was stronger. It was all part of my plan to see newt again, and maybe conquer some land for myself. People of the cult had started to believe I was 'all seeing' and 'all knowing' just because of the mix of my aim and how much I knew of the area and rumours. It made them more careful to not let things slip when I was near or I would find out more than they knew themselves.

We talked for a while before we all went out separate ways and I took a step out onto the gravel outside refreshing my feet as the sense of pain surfaced then dulled, one glance in a car mirror told me John was watching out of his balcony. I folded my arms acting like I didn't know he was there and took a few breaths of air, why couldn't I adjust to this? Why'd it feel so strange to inhale and exhale like a normal human being? There were some things I would never understand but breathing is an everyday activity, how could I live if I found it so uncomfortable just at my own weird pattern.

My eyes fell to the floor as I turned to go back in, John's gaze shot to the stars in the sky, I chuckled to myself and wandered inside. I wanted to convince him that I'd just stepped out for a little fresh air and wasn't thinking about the future. It's not that I didn't love my family, I did but my glader life was starting to be missed where it was replaced with politics and religion, I missed running around not needing to be anywhere and taking down outposts if I needed any stress relievers.

From stepping inside, I strolled up the stairs and waddled back inside my room letting my fingers trail across the surface of the cabinet, I was well aware what that 'tea' was doing to me but I wasn't entirely sure how to react. I decided to sit in middle of my room on the floor letting the hazy sight of everything settle in. I let my eyes fall closed and remembered my plan for the wolf's den. That's when I recalled not telling Jacob the plan was tomorrow so I got some paper and scribbled out a message confirming the whole idea and when it could take place.

"Jacob
the reason I'm writing is because I honestly didn't know if you were asleep last night or not and I didn't feel like waking you to read a note but Joseph said the plan is in action and I'd like to do it as soon as possible so I can't get stabbed again, is tomorrow a good time? I know where we can find Walker
Hope"

I slid it under his door noticing the light was out so he must've been out hunting or like I thought...asleep. I wasn't planning to investigate which one since both would end in conflict which I really wasn't in the mood for, I was in my happy place and that wouldn't be disturbed by violence. I decided to return to my quarters and slip under the covers as the rest of the drug started to wear off.