One Hundred Shades of Forever.

Chapter Three.

Chapter Three:

Justin's Point of View.

            After every one-night stand I have there’s only going to be one girl I think of. When that temporary moment of lust and desire is over and I collapse onto yet again, another hotel bed with another girl that means nothing to me, there’s only one girl I want next to me. When I’m inside of someone else and I’m looking down I imagine the brown chocolate eyes that I’ve been longing to look into again for so long now. It’s always the same aftermath and as I’m coming down from my high after another round, the only thing that’s in my memory right now is her.

             I don’t say anything when I watch Ashley get out of bed to put her clothes on. She knows better by now then to lie in here with me for more than ten minutes afterwards. I don’t do that after what happened. I don’t pay attention to how I treat people anymore it seems like.

            “Kiss me.” I say once she’s finished getting dressed like I do to every girl that leaves. I treat them nice just so I can get them to come back. Ashley knows this is nothing serious, or at least I hope not. Most of the girls I mess with get this wrong impression of me and they think they’ll end up like her. They think they’ll change me but they’re wrong. Only one person on this earth is capable of doing that and unfortunately she’s not around anymore.

            Her lips press against mine quick and chaste-like before she pulls away and blows me another kiss, the door opening and closing quickly behind her. She’s a number, that’s for sure. She doesn’t really have the breasts I like but that’s where Yovanna and Chantel come in. I just call for what I’m in the mood for and what I was in the mood for tonight was a pretty face. Ashley has just that.

            When a pair of briefs go onto my body and I wander out in my suite for a glass of water that’s when I notice Khalil by the door, a smirk plastered right on his face. I’m not in the mood for that right now though. After sex I’m always in a bad mood because I never get the feeling I used to.

            “Again?” He asked, too inquisitive for my liking. “Didn’t she just say she didn’t want to be with you ever again like last week?”

            “That’s what they all say.” I shrugged. “I call them, I apologize, I tell them all of the things they want to hear and then they’re in my bed quicker than my fans can run after my tour bus. What can I say, I have a gift.”

            I manage to force a laugh out of my mouth and give off the impression that I’m doing just fine when in reality I’m really not fine at all. In reality I want to stay in bed for the rest of eternity. In reality I don’t want to perform at shows every night practically and feel alone on stage even though I have thousands of screaming fans. I have so much love surrounding me but when I look out into the crowd and see the lights of the cellphones and the screams of the fans, the only face I try to seek out is hers.

            “You seem down man.” He noted as I took a seat on the couch. “You good?”

            Khalil started out to be one of my new artists that I signed but ended up turning out to be one of my best friends. It’s not that I gave up Ryan and Chaz but Khalil just understands me a little more than them. He gets the fame somewhat now and he actually can make it to go on tour with me to more shows than I can count. It helps to know that he’s there as girlish as that sounds. I should know by now that he can read me better than most.

            “Nah.” I replied honestly. “It’s her.”

            Her. The mention of her name would send me into a spiral of downright and utter depression so instead the word her seemed to keep me from losing it. It seemed to keep me from remembering that night she found out. When she’d completely lost it on me, when she packed her things in front of me, when she left out that door and never spoke to me since.