I Am Hurt

Chapter Four

"Is that what you want?" Jennie repeats as she glares at the blonde, with tears in her eyes.

"I don't understand!" Lisa retorts, looking so pissed at the older because she doesn't even know what the brunette wants to talk about.

"Don't play dumb, Lisa. You want to see me crying. Is that what you want, right?" She asks as she walks heavier to the latter.

Taken aback, Lisa stares at Jennie in disbelief, "Am I that terrible in your eyes for you to think that I like seeing you cry?"

"What else? You ignore me every time and you give me a sarcasm which you have never done before!" Jennie retorts loudly.

"Like I said, I just stated the truth."

"YOU JUST STATED THE TRUTH!!!!!" Jennie screams. "TELL ME WHAT IS THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU KNOW SO FAR." She adds angrily, making Jisoo and Rosé run out of their room in panic.

"Unni-" Rosé is about to ask when Jennie raises her hand to shut her up, "Chaeyoung, it's okay. Let Lisa tell me whatever she knows."

"Calm down, Jennie-yah." Jisoo joins.

That makes Jennie turn her gaze to Jisoo, with tears and sadness in her eyes. "Tell me, unnie. How can I calm down when someone I love very much have said that to me." She finishes and runs towards her room, slamming her door shut, making all of them startle at the sound of the door.

"Lisa-"

"It's okay, unnie. I need to rest now." Lisa says as she also goes to room, along with the confused words that Jennie gave her.

Someone I love very much have said that to me.

Lisa feels so unsettled because of those remarks. She doesn't even know how to sleep anymore. Because when she tries to sleep, those cat-like eyes always appear in her mind, destroying everything that can make her sleep.

For Jennie, after running to her room, her tears remain falling down without even a second stop.

Honestly, today she didn't cry because she had an argument with Kai, like Lisa has said, but because she couldn't erase the blonde's face when she dated with her boyfriend, Kai. So, they decided to come home early because she told him that she didn't feel well.

Lie.

Now, she hates herself for lying to her boyfriend and for not knowing her own feelings anymore.

When she dates Kai, she thinks that is what she needs. Truly, she doesn't feel content anymore.

The feelings that she thought she would have when she started dating have turn upside down. Because every time, she saw Lisa, something inside her telling her that she has done something wrong. Something that can not be tolerated.

She closes her eyes, letting her legs guide her to the balcony. Looking at the dark sky of midnight, she feels more lonely than ever. The cold winds of January brushes her milky skin while the stars staring shiny at her.

The moon gives her enough light to see the patio that she used to have a picnic and barbecue with her bandmates. She smiles at the place, drowning herself with the memories she has had for almost a decade, and now, it seems to fade away one by one.

She knows that she has two choices between picking up those old good things back by choosing something really important to her or trying to get used to the thing she has chosen.

She doesn't want to hurt Kai because he does nothing wrong, so she can't just break up with him without any reason, and not to mention, they are just dating and telling the world about it.

So, being a confident Jennie Kim, she prefers the second choice which she has to get used to the new environment by making her relationship with Kai stronger. Because it's the right thing to do, she chooses something that everyone should be happy about.

This time, she tries to ignore and avoid her own feelings, heart that keeps telling her to do something that she should do to be happy, but she shuts it down, closing it because she doesn't want to listen, she wants to get rid of these feelings. Something that she knows it is not right.

Walking in her room, she wipes the last tears from her cheeks, closing her eyes, forcing herself to sleep, and killing all the things she doesn't want to worry about.

---

"Jennie, get up." Jisoo knocks on her door, telling her to wake up because today they have to prepare for their fan meeting in the afternoon.

"Okay, unnie. Give me twenty minutes, and I will be out, okay?" Jennie answers with the duvet covering her face.

"Umm, but Jennie-yah, let's have breakfast together, okay?" Jisoo shouts from the door.

Jennie hesitates to agree at first because she doesn't want to face Lisa now, but she accepts it anyway because she knows that she has to face reality now or never. "Okay, unnie. Wait for me."

When she comes out of her room, she notices that everyone is waiting for her in the dining table for having their breakfast together. She heaves a deep sigh, then proceeds to the table to sit beside Jisoo across Rosé.

Lisa looks more pleased today. She even glances at Jennie without a hard expression to the latter because she also decides to stop bothering Jennie and be her friend again.

She doesn't want their relationship to destroy because of that thing, so Lisa wants to be closed to Jennie again even though she knows she can only be her friend.

What makes Jennie more surprised is Lisa smiles at her and greets her which she has rarely done since Jennie started dating.

"Morning, Jennie-Unnie," Lisa says, making Jisoo and Rosé choke on their food because of the unusual behavior. Of course, it's normal before, but it's very odd when she does that to Jennie when they just yelled at each other last night.

"What?!" Lisa asks the two who choked on their food.

"Nothing," Both say in unison, smiling awkwardly towards each other.