Warming The Cold (JENSOO)

Chapter 20

Jisoo for Burberry 😍😍😍❤️

Sorry for take to long to update🤕

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Jennie took a long sip of her tea, her eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened yesterday. She could clearly remember every little detail; Jisoo had clutched at her like her life had depended on it, her small body had kept on trembling against her, her skin had felt incredibly hot and her voice had sounded both adorable and erotic at the same time. Just thinking
about it was giving her shivers. It made her feel confused and upset. Sex between them had been completely unexpected. She hadn't wanted it to happen especially when they were in such a difficult situation. The black haired was dreaming about a sappy and sentimental romance; she certainly wouldn't have gone that far with someone that she wasn't in a relationship with. It was something that she failed to understand. Why did she give her first time to her when she evidently wasn't looking for a fling? Was Jisoo that confident about them eventually becoming a couple? She pursed her lips strongly. It probably was it. However, she refused to let it happen. She persistently believed that nothing good would come out of it.

Her relationship with Chahee had been nothing more than misery. She had thought that accepting to become her girlfriend would have made her happy, but in the end, she had been wrong. It had only increased her insecurities. She knew that things were different between her and Jisoo since the attraction was deeper and more significant. She couldn't deny that feelings were growing stronger as time passed. She wasn't stupid; friendship was not the right word to describe what they had. Everything was confusing to her. It was the very first time that she felt so close to someone on an emotional level. She couldn't get enough of the  girl. She wanted her to be with her every day. She wanted to be selfish and keep her to herself.

A sigh escaped Jennie's lips. It was a real mess, and obviously ignoring her was the wrong solution. She didn't think that she would be able to go through that painful loneliness again, neither would the younger model. Jisoo was making her days brighter. Her loving smiles and the way her eyes were always shining with life were enough to make her heart pound. It truly was troublesome.

Knocks on her door immediately interrupted her thoughts. She wouldn't be surprised if it was the black haired. She probably wanted to have a serious talk about what happened between them. She stood up and went to open the door only to notice that it was Nayeon. As soon as the brunette saw her, she blinked at her.

"Why do you look so disappointed to see me?" She asked a bit disconcertedly before a teasing smirk parted her lips. "Oh. Were you expecting a certain black-haired person by any chance?"

"Not at all." She replied harshly. "If you're here to mock me, Nayeon, then I will ask you to leave now."

Jennie felt a sudden annoyance build up inside her. Recently, her friend would often tease her about Jisoo and it was seriously starting to get on her nerves. She expected no less from her; when they were younger, the brunette frequently teased her about trivial things. It seemed like that dislikeable habit of hers was back.

"Sorry, sorry," The short-haired woman sighed and went to sit on the sofa, legs crossed. "Though, maybe you should stop to avoid Jisoo. The poor girl has been feeling really upset about it lately. She cares deeply about you, you know. I fail to understand why you keep pushing her away when you feel the way as she does."

Jennie preferred not to say anything. It was not like she ignored her yesterday, but she doubted Nayeon knew something about it and she wasn't planning to tell her either. She took herself a seat and crossed her arms over her chest.

"And maybe you should try minding your own business."

"Don't be like that." The short haired rolled her eyes, noticeably disheartened by her behavior. "I'm only trying to help you."

The brunette  knew that she wasn't being fair to her. She was thinking that maybe she should be a bit more considerate. It was hard to admit, but she definitely needed to have some advice and Nayeon was the only person who wouldn't judge her. She cleared her dry throat and avoided looking at the woman in front of her.

"Yesterday, Jisoo and I… we…" She bit her lower lip, finding herself unable to say it.

"We… what? Kissed?"

"No. We've done more than... that."

It took a moment for Nayeon to process the information. When she finally understood, her eyes widened and she looked at Jennie suspiciously as if she didn't believe her. Though, she knew perfectly well that she wouldn't be lying about that sort of thing. It was a bit shocking since it was rare for her to straightforwardly talk about it. She usually had to push her in admitting things. It was probably because it was greatly upsetting her.

"You've had sex with her?" The brunette asked, wanting to make sure that she didn't misunderstand it.

Jennie could only nod. There was no point in lying about it.

"And now Jisoo most likely expects us to get in a relationship, but I don't want to."

Nayeon heaved a sigh. She seemed to be thinking about some kind of solution, but she soon gave her a nonchalant shrug.

"You have to take responsibility. Why are you being so hesitant about it anyway? You're in love with her, aren't you? Wouldn't it be easier if you just accept to get in a relationship with her? That girl can make you happy."

"Love is a strong word." Jennie murmured, glaring at the tea set on the table like it was her greatest rival. "I… affectionate her. It's different."

"You're the one who can't make the difference between affection and love." Nayeon was starting to snap. "You're hurting yourself needlessly and I'm tired of seeing you like this when things can be easier for you. Do you want my honest opinion? If you continue this way, I think Jisoo will give up on you. Is this truly what you want? If I were at her place, I wouldn't be able to handle it. She's so devoted to you and it's like you don't give a damn about her. You're being a real jerk to her and you need to face it."

Her friend's rude words felt like a slap. The brunette's jaw clenched. She knew that she was right, but she was scared and confused. She needed to make sense of all those feelings first. She couldn't rush things when she wasn't even certain of how she felt and risked to hurt both of them even further. More importantly, she didn't want Jisoo to give up on her. If she didn't yet, it was simply because she never lost hope and was always unbelievably optimistic.

"I'm sorry, I was being a bit harsh here," Nayeon whispered, guilt apparent on her face. "I'm only worried about you and I think you're handling things incorrectly."

"I don't want to hurt Jisoo…" Jennie muttered almost inaudibly, her voice cracking, finally letting her emotions out. "I ended up breaking Chahee's heart and I don't want the same thing to happen again."

"Chahee isn't like her and you know it better than me." The mature brunette replied and gave her friend a caring smile. "You deserve to be happy. You've been through enough already and you need to let go of your past and face the happiness you can have if you accept things the way they are."

The popular model exhaled deeply. She was having many mixed feelings right now. She knew that Nayeon was right, but at the same time, she persisted to think that getting into a relationship with Jisoo wasn't the brightest idea. Continuing that conversation was going to make her insane, so she decided to change the topic;

"Anyway, are you officially back with Hanbin now? Is this the main reason why you're here? Spit it out."

Nayeon noticeably tensed up. She ran a hand through her short hair before meeting with her crystal brown eyes almost determinately.

"Yeah, I'm dating him."

"Tsk," Jennie gave a growl. "I guess you have a thing for jerks. Whatever, if he ends up hurting you again, he's going to regret it."

"I think… maybe… I will be the one hurting him this time."

The brunette  raised an eyebrow. What did she mean by that? She started suspecting that she was seeing Jisoo's detestable cousin again. She was about to question her about it but closed her mouth as knocks on the door interrupted her. She sighed. She threw a glare at Nayeon as if telling her that she would force her to explain what was going on another time.

She went to open the door and she wasn't the least surprised to see Jisoo standing there, a sheepish grin on her perfect-looking face. Before she could even say a word, the smaller girl wrapped her arms around her and rested her head against her chest. Here she was again with her incessant and pointless hugs.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing this?" Jennie asked with noticeable exasperation.

"I can't help it! Whenever I see you, Jen, I want to hug you! You're so soft and warm and your chest feels comfortable!" The dark haired exclaimed and tightened their one-sided hug. "Besides, I've been missing you already even if we saw each other yesterday. I couldn't sleep at all last night because I kept thinking about you..."

If the popular model thought that she was feeling uneasy because of the hug, now she definitely was after the other female's sappy speech. Quickly, she grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her away —much to Jisoo's disenchantment who was now looking at her with sad puppy eyes. Jennie sometimes wished that she wasn't so expressive. It would have made it less hard not to start pitying her.

"Don't you feel the same way, Jen? I… I mean, especially after what happened yesterday…" The girl murmured and erratically ran her fingers through one of her long hair. "I… I can't get it out of my mind and—"

"Don't say another word, Jisoo." The older woman spoke in a stern voice.

Now it definitely was the dark haired's breaking point as tears appeared in her eyes. Jennie sighed and started to feel some kind of regret. She hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. She knew that she should be careful with her words; Jisoo was definitely more sentimental towards her and ended up getting hurt a lot easier than before. She only told her to shut up because Nayeon was staring at them like they were the most interesting thing in the whole world.

"Now, now, Jenjen," The brunette rolled her eyes and approached them, giving her best friend a reproaching frown. "That's not a good way to talk to a girl you like. Seems like I'll have to teach you how to flirt with the ladies without sounding like a total jerk."

"I don't need you teaching me anything. Besides, I've never said anything about liking her."

"I thought we just talked about it."

"You're the one who's making unnecessary assumptions, Nayeon."

The black haired blinked at them. It seemed like she had no idea that Jennie's friend had been here the whole time. She gave a timid smile as she realized that it probably was the reason her favorite model made her stop talking. It would have ended up embarrassing them both.

"If you could try to make her sound more romantic, it would be a huge help, Nayeon!" Jisoo decided to participate in the teasing, and it succeeded to annoy the brunette  who was glaring at them, obviously not pleased with the sudden complicity between the two.

"Honestly, I think it would take more than personal teaching for her to start being romantic." The brunette laughed, clearly amused.

"Jennie can be unbelievably sweet sometimes, though! The other day, she prepared a romantic dinner with candles just to cheer me up!"

"Oh, really now? Tell me about it."

"Cut it out, you two." The popular model finally snapped, heat getting to her face. "If you're going to make such unpleasant comments, I'll ask you both to leave now."

Jennie knew that Nayeon was going to tease her about it when they were going to be alone. She wished that the black haired would keep the things that happened between them to herself. It was not other people's business. But she supposed that the other girl always had a lot of difficulties with privacy in general. She met with her vibrant black eyes and her cheeks went a darker shade of red; Jisoo was staring at her with that usual loving smile. It always made her heart pound. No one else ever looked at her in such an affectionate way before. She had never thought that someone would either. She wasn't used to it at all. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but she wished that it would stop leaving her so speechless every time it happened.

Nayeon smiled knowingly at the sight. After a short moment, she headed to the door.

"Well then, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone now," She said and waved at them. "We'll talk another time, Jennie."

The brunette  only nodded at her. She would make sure that her friend told her the whole story about what was happening with Hanbin the next time that they would see each other. There was definitely something fishy going on, and despite how bothersome Nayeon could be at times, she was worried that she was putting herself into some needless trouble.

With a sigh, she sat down on the couch and mentioned to Jisoo to take a seat. She had thought that she would settle down on the sofa across from her, but she actually sat down right next to her. They were so close that their shoulders touched and their hands even brushed. Jennie felt a gentle spark go through her whole body. She had to restrain herself not to put some distance between them. The only reason why she didn't was because she knew that it would hurt the younger model. However, her attempt not to pain her failed as she could see sadness flash into her black eyes for very few seconds.

"You're not comfortable being so close to me, are you…?" The girl asked with disappointment in her voice. "Why? Especially after what happened between us yesterday…"

"It's exactly why I don't want you to stick close to me," Jennie replied to her without much thought. "It shouldn't have happened. It got out of control. We… really shouldn't allow things to go further. Whenever we—… something like this happens, I lose my complete mind and… it needs to stop."

The brunette  had expected Jisoo to pull away by now, but instead, she brashly grabbed her face between her hands and forced her to look at her. Jennie pursed her lips tightly and still managed to avoid looking into those gorgeous eyes that was always leaving her stunned. Their simple closeness was enough to make her forget how to breathe, her heart racing in her chest. It was completely insane. She didn't know when those strong feelings appeared, but she couldn't ignore them anymore. It was only making things harder for her. She had to make things clear with the dark haired; she had to reject her and make her understand that they couldn't be in a relationship.

"What are you scared of, Jennie? Please tell me. Maybe I could try to help you."

"I'm going to hurt you." The popular model exhaled deeply and let go of her cold façade for a moment, hesitantly taking both of the other girl's hands in hers. She had to be careful with her words. "I care about you and this is why I refuse to let things go further. You deserve happiness more than anyone else ever does and I'm not the one who can give it to you. If we ever get into a relationship, it won't be steady and I will most likely end up breaking your heart. I'm already hurting you enough as it is and I don't want you to get even more involved with me."

Jisoo stared down at their hands. She stayed silent for a moment as if she was still processing her words. Though, she soon looked up at her again and smiled even if it seemed a bit forced.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can make things work." The dark haired murmured, her voice trembling ever so slightly. "I… I mean, I agree that we aren't specifically getting along at times, but I'm pretty confident that we can get through it. Being with you won't hurt me. If anything, it will make me happy even with the difficulties that we may encounter. Can you consider giving it a try? I promise you that we'll figure things out."

"No," Jennie's reply was immediate. "I don't know what I'm feeling. It might only be sheer loneliness. Do you want to get into a relationship with me even after knowing that I might not feel anything romantic for you?"

"I… I don't believe that."

"I thought I liked Chahee, but I realized that I didn't. I ended up hurting her. The same thing might happen with you."

Dejected, Jisoo finally let go of her hands. She looked at the floor and bit down on her lip. It was obvious that she was hurting her deeply. As much as Jennie was pained to see her like this, she knew that it was better now than later.

"I… I understand. I've said it before, right? If you don't want a relationship, I'll respect it. Your friendship is enough for me." The girl muttered lowly. "I just wish that you would have said it sooner because it might already be too late for me to act like nothing happened. I… I think I'll need a few months apart from you to get over it."

The older woman nodded. Honestly, she didn't like the sound of it. She already had some difficulties going through a month without speaking to her. However, she supposed that they didn't have much of a choice at that point. She wanted Jisoo to get over her. She obstinately continued to believe that it was the best solution. In the first place, she failed to understand how the other girl came to develop feelings for her. It wasn't rare that some of her obsessed fans confessed their love to her, but she believed that it was different for the black haired. After all, she remembered her having been angry and disappointed at her because she wasn't the idol that she had spent years admiring. Jisoo came to like her for who she was even if she kept on being mean to her. It was the main reason why she didn't understand how she was so intensively into her.

"If you understand, then leave now," Jennie spoke in an accidental cold voice.

Leave before I restrain you from doing it.

A lump of remorse was starting to form in her throat and her stomach was churning with negative emotions; sadness, regret, guilt and fear. She only watched as Jisoo wordlessly headed to the door. Before she grabbed the doorknob, she looked at her and smiled gloomily.

"I'll give you a call when I'll be ready to talk to you again." She whispered feebly. "Before I leave, I want to make sure of something; are you really alright with your decision? I'm going to respect it, but I want to make sure that it's truly what you wish."

Jennie gritted her teeth. She knew that the black haired wasn't as clueless as she looked to be sometimes; it seemed like she understood when she wasn't entirely pleased about a certain situation even if she was doing her possible not to show it.

"I am."

Jisoo doubtfully stared at her. She seemed to be hesitant about whether she should really leave or not. After some long seconds, she finally sighed and her lips visibly quivered. She was unmistakably on the verge of tears. She turned her back to her.

"I… I think you're making the wrong decision…"

With that, she left without saying another word, almost slamming the door behind her.

Jennie exhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She didn't think that it would hurt this much, but she knew that it was better that way. Hurting them both now was healthier than letting the pain continue. It was what she strongly believed.