Out

Part Ten

Jorge

"Baby, we're here," Benji wakes me by shaking my shoulders gently. I rub my eyes and look around before staring at him. He hasn't called me 'baby' in a long time. Well, he did when we had sex, but I don't think that counts. "Sorry, uh, Jorge we're here."

"How did I wake up from a nap feeling worse than I did before I went to sleep?" I groan and stretch. My back aches from the uncomfortable position I slept in, Benji on top of me didn't help, but I'm glad I got to be so close to him.

"It's a bus," Benji laughs and stands up, holding his hand out for me to take. I smile at him as he pulls me up. He grabs the blanket and heads towards the door of the bus. Almost everyone is outside already.

"Do you think you could give me a ride home?" I ask when we get outside. Benji grabs my bag in one hand and holds his own in the other.

"Sure," He smiles at me. I follow him to his car, shivering at the harsh weather. It's colder inside Benji's car than it is outside because it sat in the parking lot overnight. He gives me an apologetic smile as he turns the heater up all the way.

"So, when did you want to have that talk?" I say referring to the conversation we had on the bus. I told him I wanted him back, and I do, but I'm still scared. I need to make sure we're on the same page.

"We could now? At your house or something?" Benji shrugs his shoulders, but I can tell by the way he scratches the back of his neck and doesn't look at me that he's nervous.

"My moms home and I don't want to have to explain it to her," I laugh. "We could just go to your house?"

"Okay," He smiles.

The car starts to get warm just as we pull into Benji's driveway. I roll my eyes at the timing, but get out of the car and grab Benji's bag out of the backseat.

"I can carry that," Benji reaches for it but I turn away from him.

"Let me do something nice for you," I giggle. He smiles and shakes his head. We walk up to the front door that I know all too well.

"So, I don't know about my dad, but my moms here. I don't know exactly how this is going to go," Benji laughs and opens the door before I get a chance to speak. I follow him inside and sure enough, Benji's mom is sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him.

"Hey, mom," She smiles at him. Her eyes widen when she looks at me.

"Jorge! It's so good to see you," She stands up and runs to me, wrapping her arms around me. I laugh and hug her back.

"Wow, mom," Benji laughs. "Don't worry, it's only me, your son."

"How are you?" She asks when she pulls away.

"I'm good, how are you?" I smile at her. "I love this sweater," I say pulling at the purple turtle neck she has on.

"Oh, honey, you are so sweet. I'm so glad you're here!" She looks at Benji for the first time since she saw me come in. "Does this mean you guys are together again? I thought I heard someone over the other night."

"Mom, stop," Benji turns a deep shade of red knowing we had been caught. He told me I was being too loud. "We're just talking right now."

"Okay," She gives me a knowing look.

"We're going upstairs," Benji rolls his eyes in annoyance. He turns to the stairs, and takes them two at a time wanting to end the conversation. I follow him, laughing the whole way.

"I love your mom," I smile at him when we get to his room. He closes the door and takes his bag out of my hands.

"She doesn't know when to stop," He says, still blushing from her comment. I sit on his bed, watching him put away the clothes from his bag.

"Benji," I say when I watch him put the contents of the bag in his laundry basket, one item at a time. "I know you're stalling. We don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to," I sigh.

"I want to," He sets the bag on the floor next to his dresser and sits on the bed next to me. "I'm just nervous."

"Don't be," I reach over and rest my hand on top of his. Sleeping with him last night after our talk felt so normal. It was so comfortable. I like that I feel like that when I'm with Benji.

"Okay," Benji takes a deep breath.

"I want you, Benji," He looks up at me with a grin. "I want to be with you."

His smile widens and he turns my hand over to hold it. "But?"

"I want to take this slow," I say looking away from him. "I just, I don't want to get hurt again."

"Baby, I promise I won't ever hurt you. Never again," Benji grabs my chin and turns my head, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not going to do anything to mess this up again. I can't be without you."

"Okay," I climb onto his lap, straddling his thighs. I needed to be closer to him. Benji rests his hands on my hips and stares at my lips. "I'm scared this won't work. What if we only worked together because it was a secret?"

"It didn't work because we were a secret. If I had come out before, none of that would have happened," Benji lifts up my shirt slightly to rub his cold fingers against the skin on my waist. "I'll take you out every night, on a real date like we always talked about. I'll hold your hand around school and walk you to all your classes. I'll take you to every party and show you off at every football game. It'll be perfect."

Instead of responding, I lean down and kiss his lips softly. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss. He licks along my bottom lip, hinting to me to open my mouth. When I do, his tongue slides in and intertwined with mine.

"How slow are we talking?" Benji breathes when we pull away.

"I don't know," I say with my head still foggy from the kiss. I can't think straight when I'm around him.

"What I'm asking is," He picks me up by my thighs and flips us over so he's laying on top of me with his knee in between my thighs. "Can I fuck you right now?"

I whine at the thought. I want him so bad it hurts, but I promised myself I'd take it slow. He moves his head to my neck and leaves wet kisses here and there.

"Benji," My voice trails off. "Slow."

"Sorry. Sorry," Benji climbs off of me and sits down next to me. "I got carried away."

"It's okay," I sit up, out of breath and look over at him. His pupils are dilated and his face red. His face turns soft when I smile at him.

"Can we cuddle instead?"

"Yes."